Obstacles: Detached Retinas

This happened to me several years ago. I queried the literary agent for one of my favorite authors. The agent called me two days later asking me for three sample chapters. The chapters were dropped off at the concierge desk the next morning. Later that week he called me, bursting with excitement assuring me my novel would reach the big screen. He wanted the entire novel dropped off Monday morning.

With visions of a six figure deal, book signings, and my Oscar acceptance speech dancing in my head, I sat down to begin the printing process. Murphy’s cruel law reared its ugly head and my computer died. The next day I rushed out to purchase a new computer and saw the first 17 inch monitors on display (I did say this was several years ago). It was a heavy monstrosity with built-in speakers on the side. I have friends who hurt their back and others who suffered hernias carrying heavy things. Not me. I tore my retina.

Emergency surgery reattached my retina, but I suffered from blurred vision for several years. I stopped writing. How could I overcome the obstacle of blurred vision? Today, I regret those lost years. This past December on the eve of Christmas Eve I tore the same retina. My second surgery, like my first, left me with blurred vision. This time I refuse to stop writing and querying. I refuse to make that mistake again.

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1,028 thoughts on “Obstacles: Detached Retinas

    1. Oh, sorry about that. I handed in the entire manuscript and went off to have my surgery. It took years to fully recover my full vision. The agent returned the manuscript to me several months later. He provided a small list of suggestions,told me to keep promoting it because it would sell, and said it was not for him. Very disappointing.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Hi, Andrew! Now it’s my turn to peruse your older blog posts! I’m thinking it must be somewhat encouraging to have had such initial enthusiasm for your manuscript. I can’t believe that nothing came of that. The right person has not read it yet! Your vision still hasn’t returned to 100%, is that correct? We were talking about reading books and you said you weren’t able to read except your computer screen…

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    1. First, I still hold hope to find a literary agent for my work. (I refuse to quit). Yeah, I had retina surgery years ago and again this past year. I still have plenty of blurriness that will take time to heal. I take many breaks when reading blogs to rest my eyes. I also set the screen to super large print to read. I set January as my date to start reading books again. I miss reading.

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  2. Couldn’t possibly hug you harder.

    Also, I may be commenting a lot as I browse your head, so don’t feel the need to reply to everything, please. I’m just blah blah blah- ing in your direction

    Like

        1. Good. Nandita had to return to mhy blog with the other blog she uses “Ria.” I just approved and replied.

          By the way, that strange blogger “thecandiclub” left old messages while I was gine. Both nothing as strange as she left on yours.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. So weird that one. And I have to stop myself from unleashing the rage when she comments, she pisses me off so much!

            You replied? You are a better person than me. I would have told her to fuck the fuck off a long time ago and stop acting like such a psycho.

            Sorry…rage monster peeking out

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                    1. Mirror was a silly joke.

                      I am much better myself. Just reread tomorrow’s post. I have to be honest. I kind of like it.

                      Hey, do you read my poetry with a poet’s eye?
                      Or as a woman? Or totlly with your mind?
                      Or like so many others, do you read me with your panties?

                      I think that is why I have so little trust in my own poetry.

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                    2. I think you know the answer to that question. But i will indulge you baby.
                      But you asked, remember.

                      Firstly as a poet. Hence why i spend so long diseccting your language and imagery and why i analyse every little nunace and phrase.
                      Secondly, as a woman but NEVER with my panties. Just in the sense of how it feels to read beautiful words written by a man.

                      Thirdly yes with my mind, and you are tsking up much if that space so it makes reading your poetry even more absorbing.

                      Also say the phrase ‘like so many others’ again and see what happens.

                      But lastly. As a woman who is falling very deeply for you.

                      How is that?

                      Liked by 1 person

                    3. And much better than the Fake Muse I had before. The poetry had to be about her.
                      I always felt so restricted.

                      With you I feel free to write. You will see tomorrow’s post. You have my creativity bubbling and brusting. And remember, this poem was written in about a half hour.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    4. You were?! Brilliant. I read all of them.

                      They LOVED IT.
                      I told you. They were searching and searching as to how to express what they felt. Beautiful. You should be bursting with happies all over the place.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    5. Yes, I am bursting with happies. LMFAO
                      It is one time I loved my poem.

                      I think I may have said this or something similar yesterday: I see my blog and poetry evolving.
                      There was before my eye surgeries. My work was simple, crude, with prettiness and some emotion. But what it did was attract the people who read with their panties.

                      My writing improved during the dark ages of the N period. It became richer, a little more use of metaphors and personification. But it was inhibited. I used to write afraid of her approval or anger.

                      BUt now I feel totally uninhibited. Free as a bird and the metaphors are flowing. Poems bloom inside of me. I find my poetry since I returned from Cancun (when we exchanged our feelings) so enriching, gleaming with passion.

                      But that is just me. My new muse is wonderful.
                      So inspiring and encouraging of letteing me be me and letting me reach new creative heights.

                      Thank you

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                    6. You MUST live this poem. Well I have said so much about it to you in private and on the blog so i won’t go into it again. But it was something else. Another layer.

                      I want you to feel that all the time. And more. And I know there are words and poems in you that even you won’t know what to do with .
                      She didn’t want you to shine because you’d get noticed and she didn’t want that.
                      I just want you to be as beautiful as you can be. Always.

                      Don’t thank me. Whatever I am doing to you, I am loving every second

                      Like

                    7. I’ve sent you a response to your poem. Just for us. I haven’t done the blog comment yet. As usual!
                      I am beyond nervous now for you to read what I said. If you don’t like what I said you can ignore it.
                      And I will be nervous for the next million hours until you wake up and read it.

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                    8. I will be gentle. Don’t worry
                      Making me laugh so much.

                      Which is good as you are distracting me from…other things I may or may not have said.

                      Love this mood you’re in today

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                    9. Don’t know if you remember a day in early October, we were chatting back and forth while I was driving for six hours.

                      I wrote the last four lines that day. And they tell you everything you want to know. The rest came to me last week, that was one of the reasons I didn’t know what to post when you asked me on Sunday. It was between this Monday post and the one I actually posted “if you let me.”

                      After the challenge I received I added lines about confession, and it is done. For you Muñeca.

                      It is cheating. Because it didn’t actually come from the prompt. It was already written for you, but it will serve the triple purpose.
                      1- satisfy the prompt
                      2- A beautiful poem written just for you
                      3- Replying to your beautiful comment.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    10. I remember that day.

                      I was already writing poetry for you too.

                      Everything you say has a deep effect on me.

                      I can’t wait to read it baby.
                      You’re so important to me.
                      Well.. you know everything now.

                      It’s not cheating. No one needs to know…I can keep a secret lol.
                      I may cease to exist after reading it.
                      Well I won’t.
                      But I will.

                      Huge deep sigh.

                      Don’t know how this happened but my smiles are coming from deep inside ❤️

                      Liked by 1 person

                    11. Stop worrying about the why? It doesn’t matter. Almost everything I have written after Cancun is for you.

                      I have one of two post like the suicide one obviously wasn’t for you.

                      Tomorrow when we have more time I have to ask you for some advice.

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                    12. Did i say why? I didn’t even realise. You may ignore me. Won’t do it again.

                      I wouldn’t even let myself think the vagabond days one was for me.

                      But you have no idea how it makes me feel knowing this. Really baby..

                      Of course. Anything you want, we can talk about

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                    13. Did I ever tell you just when I was going to graduate from uni when I was around 22 I almost decided to enroll in a film school in NY? My friend had moved there and she was begging me to go. Stupidly I decided to go back to Cyprus.

                      Talk about a sliding doors moment.

                      Are you enjoying your day and all the beautiful words you’re being showered with?

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                    14. Don’t apologise. You’ve beenbtelling about it since we FIRST started emailing..lol
                      Let’s see if i remember. ..something like the lonely author doesnt make love he fs hard
                      Is what you told me many moons ago
                      Is that true …

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                    15. Right….
                      I will be reading them tomorrow. I have read a few…some people are clearly curious where this…you is coming from lol. Your answers are entertaining me so much

                      Like

                    16. That line seems to be describing a lot about us .
                      I thought after I posted it that I should have given you credit for the title but it would have been a bit … inappropriate lol

                      Liked by 1 person

                    17. I know. Wait until Mondays post.

                      Remember the poem “never sent to you.” Women saying you have to send the letters. LOL
                      This will have that type of finale and I bet the reaction will be the same. You have to tell her.

                      This is kind of fun.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    18. Yes I REMEMBER the poem and the reactions. You are very good at diversionary tactics. It’s an eff load of fun.
                      But I think you are enjoying torturing me with your impending poetry

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                    19. Oh right. Lost the whole flow of our conversation.

                      It was okay. Better than other days
                      Morning was a bit fucked but that passed too. I was feeling a bit sad before you appeared.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    20. Makes it worse! I would have gone in 2002.
                      I would have been 22 and you would have been…37. Hot, first of all.
                      Maybe there is a parallel universe where that DID happen and there’s another two of us there enjoying themselves intensely

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                    21. Yeah.
                      You know though…
                      You have to think, whatever anyone goes through, good or bad or right or wrong decision, left or right pathway everything we’ve been through leads to something. Or, brings us to where we are for some reason or another. I can think of a thousand things that happened to me that, if they hadn’t, I may never have found you here.
                      Everything leads to something. As painful as it is, some things have to happen a certain way so we can become who we are and be in the spot we are standing in for a reason. I mean I don’t have any answers but I know there is a reason we’ve found each other this way. What it is, fuck knows. I am sure we’ll find out.
                      Makes sense?

                      Liked by 1 person

                    22. Yes, it does make sense. I do think that way too. I will even take it one step further…… we were supposed tyo meet at NYU. Never happened but fate made sure it happened years later. It sounds corny, nut it was destined to happen.

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                    23. You do. I know. It’s important to me that you think that way. My mind operates in weird ways sometimes. I do sense things about you and know things before you say them and much more. Just confirms things for me. If you didn’t get me, I would be having a sinking feeling in my stomach instead of shivers up my spine. Which is a strong sign for me.

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                    24. Well, I would like to send shivers up your spine but for other reasons and methods.

                      We are very similar in thinking. I am very spiritual. I believe things happen for a reason. And I do believe some people are meant to be or meant to find one another

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                    25. Lol, you do that too. Wait let me just imagine for a sec…

                      Yes completely. No denying we were meant to find each other.

                      And at the right moment. Even if it feels unfair sometimes. It’s supposed to be now

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                    26. Yes.
                      Even then.

                      By the way spf replied to me finally. It was short and thankful and she quoted a bit of my email that made her laugh and that was that really! I probably won’t reply. It didn’t really need one. Totally forgot to tell you

                      Liked by 1 person

                    27. You are much too kind my smouldering Babe.
                      I have studied novel writing and read so so much n the subject, so I can be a little helpful, but for all I have read, I have yet to be published.

                      Please, don’t let the comments or back and forth bother you. Where our back and forth is funny and smooth, there are many times it is a but awkward with her. She doesn’t have your personality or charm.

                      I have always thought she may have contacts that could possibly help me one day. Yesterday I found out she doesn’t . But she has published 3 books in her country/language.

                      DON’T LET MY COMMENTS WITH ANYONE BOTHER YOU. Seriously. Just being the Lonely Author. You never notice me trying to end conversations with ladies and they just go on and on.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    28. That comment must have fallen into my dashboard. I will retrieve and reply. Fuck it if it goes on and on. It’s my blog. Whoever doeswn’ty like me back and forthing with you will have to stick it.

                      My tricky tricks???
                      Thanks for the encouraging words about the contact. Wish it was you in my lap.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    29. Very hot when you get all “I’ll do what I want on my blog”
                      Love it ❤️

                      Yes remember I told you I worked out your whole lonely author flirting style looong ago. I was very proud of that little observation.

                      Your lap would be my new favourite place to sit

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                    30. Haha . But it is true. If I want tio write a poem about crap, well its my blog.

                      LOL . You are too much. A little secret here. I don’t do it purposely, seriously I don’t. But my poetry leads to the popularity and flirting and charm.

                      So many of my poems end melancholy. or with the words YOU. Ladies want to be that YOU.
                      They don’t know the you is you.

                      But my poetry does encourage the following of women. Not the poetry itself, but the messages and finales cater to it.

                      makes sense?

                      Liked by 1 person

                    31. Yeah yeah…sense etc.

                      But back to this reply you just effing posted on your poem! My face was burning all the way through!!!!! Not to mention OTHER parts… How the fuck am I supposed to respond to that!!!!!
                      Oh but I will.
                      You just wait
                      You are in big effing trouble

                      (But I’ll be a good girl I promise)
                      🙊

                      Liked by 1 person

                    32. It was an AMAZING response. How did you go to brow furrowing?????
                      Did you read it back to yourself? It was beautiful. I have to restrain myself in my response. And you put the title of poem at the end which will get noticed, I hope you know that.
                      I loved every word. Oh… lost meanings in the written word….I meant it really touched me and I will have trouble responding in a well behaved manner.
                      You don’t realise but minds with now begin to churn after reading it.
                      Better.

                      How could I be upset with anything you write. God sakes!!
                      Do you recall my feelings for you? ❤️

                      Liked by 1 person

                    33. Yes, I know I put the title in the end. It’s my fucking blog…….

                      Let the minds churn. But please be a good girl, you can be flirty if you want, and hit me with your charm. Others do. Why can’t you?

                      And please always feel free to drop your little haert after your comments. I love it.

                      I will enever forget your feelings….

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                    34. You are adorable.
                      I love that you put the title in. Don’t misunderstand me.

                      I would never do or say anything to upset your blog, I told you that ages ago and meant it. I love your blog too remember!

                      And there I was thinking I WAS charming you all this time…must try harder

                      I will respond baby. It’ll take a while. I’m a little too addicted to our conversations at the moment.

                      Please don’t. Ever. They are very real and precious

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                    35. I figured you would like the last line. Let me tell you of all of the things you have written that one resonated deep inside. It will have a lasting affect.

                      No, you are always sweet and charming, just don’t be scared to drop a little flirt if you want. If you don’t show a little interest, people may think you are trying to ide something. Got me?

                      You are precious from head to toe, heart, and soul.

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                    36. Oh the sweet complications of hiding yet showing.. it excites me I have to say.
                      I just started replying but then you appeared again so I’ll get back to it slowly lol.
                      Really? About the poem today i mean. As soon as I hit publish I got a really good feeling. It was something special for me writing words for something you’d said to me in a tender little moment. Unlike anything else.

                      If only I could fully express what the things you say mean to me.

                      Have you thought about our collab? To be honest I have but I haven’t come up with anything more yet. It’s like my brain is too full of you and everything is scrambling for attention. Even though it’s us writing it ..you get what I mean

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                    37. My brain is only in Fiery mode. I have that opening line saved and have not been able to come up with a thing. And I feel very creative lately, but nothing comes to me.

                      Just thoughts of you.

                      You can express whatever you want, it will just be a bit challenging

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                    38. I like a challenge sometimes. I won’t disappoint.. promise.
                      I know, it’s the same for me. Except obviously I am all love for the lonely author mode.
                      Just leave it. It will come. You’ve got both of your poems from next week done so that must free up some mind space lol. Monday is so far away…

                      Liked by 1 person

                    39. You know I forgot to eat the whole day yesterday until the evening.
                      Don’t get mad. Lol.
                      No I DID eat breakfast. Then I forgot about food and other trivial matters lol.
                      It’s cool though. My body is looking better than ever!
                      😂
                      Now you’re supposed to laugh…❤️

                      Liked by 1 person

                    40. Oh…fuck yes.

                      You’re amazing. ❤️

                      My reply to that will have to wait though. Which is great, I want your comment to stew nice a good there on your blog.

                      I need to be here now though because the countdown has begun to break my heart

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                    41. Well this lady definitely likes it. They love it.They think it is for them, others sit guessing who it could be for .

                      You are charming and enchanting everyone lately. I love watching it

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                    42. You do. More than I have ever experienced, seriously seriously.
                      It only doesn’t bother me because you make me feel beyond special. And all I want is for you to be you. You have to be. It’s very important. It’s a strong feeling I have.
                      I probably adore you more

                      Liked by 1 person

                    43. My god…really?
                      Did you know that I love any mention of universes and stars and galaxies and all the heavenly bodies? Does things to my soul.

                      You couldn’t be writing a more perfect poem.

                      Huge sigh baby

                      Liked by 1 person

                    44. LOL . Doing some spring cleaning or what I like to call throwing our the trash on my blog.
                      Trying to unfollow everyone I follow faithfully but never stop at my blog. I have to many people that are faithful that deserve my follow, why waste my time with phonys.

                      This will help me free up more time for me.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    45. I don’t mind your sleepy state.
                      I am just a bit off today. Long day and it’s only afternoon.

                      You’ve pretty much cured me of my ‘reading too much into things you say’ thingy

                      That’s a big deal for me. So we’ll done you, lol ♡

                      Liked by 1 person

                    46. Lol with you so far!

                      Yes I wouldn’t normally be but instead of little one taking a nap which is what I am trying to do as we speak, someone else is napping so…aprovechar momento (excuse the spelling)

                      Liked by 1 person

                    47. Tenemos que aprovechar cada momento Bella.

                      Hey, I mentioned you to a blogger the other day. Every Saturday, he plays a pronoun game on his blog. This Saturday it was “MY.”
                      Everyone had to name a song that has My in the title, I told him you may want to play. I know you love music. You can join . in on Monday. The blog – A Frank Angle.

                      My selectiomn for My was “My My My” a soulful song by Johnny Gill from back in the 90s. He said if you decide to join. To introduc yourself and let him know you are a friend of the Lonely Author. He is a pretty faithful follower too. You know I don’t have too many dudes on my blog. He is one of the few.

                      Sorry, if your not interested. I though you would be. I guess in my stupid mind it was my chance to introduce some special to me. Kind of like showing you off. I guess.

                      Silly me.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    48. I want to make you tingle.
                      Take a peak when you can. Let him know you are my friend. He make joke about you being one from my concubine. He teases me like that often. Read the comments on “MY”
                      You can’t repeat a song already there. BUt my is pretty easy.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    49. Have a few more minutes.

                      Thinking of deleting today’s poem.
                      I usually do need to write something darker once in a while, but I feel like it doesn’t belong or something.
                      What do you think?

                      Liked by 1 person

                    50. Lol.
                      Already gone.
                      I didn’t have a good feeling about it anyway.
                      I am all about instinct with my blog
                      Felt okay when i posted. Then it didn’t.
                      So its gone.

                      I’ll write in the morning when i am.less cloudy

                      Liked by 1 person

                    51. Well..awww first of all!

                      And secondly I agree with you baby.
                      My writing is also …shifting and changing because of you. .. and this wasn’t a reflection of that . It’s the dark parts of my head. I got it out felt better now I can trash it . It’s like super cheap therapy lol.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    52. I know that baby. ..
                      I still don’t think ive properly expressed how that makes me feel. I have so much love for you.

                      They see your heart in your poems because you’re not holding it back. It’s beautiful. To everyone.

                      But more so to me ♥

                      Liked by 1 person

                    53. Hi baby.

                      I thought maybe that would happen..
                      It’s okay!
                      Just be hilarious and charming and I am sure once they read her response to it they won’t.
                      I have so much to say about it.

                      I loved it. So much

                      Don’t even know where to start…
                      I could write a 2000 word essay about it.

                      And that’s not including what I will say about it to you only in private.

                      It’s more than Amazing

                      Like

                    54. This is what I was talking about in my comment. About the particles.

                      “I think about what love is. Do I know? Probably not. But it could be…
                      Indescribable, infinitesimal, interdimensional particles, glowing, flickering between us in the beautiful, pulsating , endless, infinite space between us… electrified, sparking, sparkling, alive yet belonging to both…ripping through my heart, mind, soul (in that order), whizzing through time and space, tearing pieces of me out and flying them to you, ripping through your heart, mind , soul, embedding themselves inside you, placing the twinkling, glowing particles of me inside you, whizzing and shredding out pieces of you, flying soaring at indescribable speed back through the ether to me , slicing through me, leaving remnants of you inside me, then ripping out more of me, traversing through the burning dimensions, tearing into you…ad infinitum…until we are a sonorous, harmonious, melodious, medley of particles of me and you ripped to pieces, embedded forever, in a magniloquent, grandiloquent merging of sparkling, glowing, particles of… us.”

                      Spooky right.

                      Like

                    55. Did you like my song choice on your friend’s blog by the way? You never said.

                      I listened to your song.
                      Never heard it before.
                      But all I had in my mind was this image of you playing that song, turning the lights down and turning on the romance, lol.

                      I bet you do that all the time ..

                      Liked by 1 person

                    56. Hey.
                      Wrote you another reply before this one.
                      Just went and read G’s comment. I think it will settle things. She was actually very charming and complimentary to you and very platonic.
                      Don’t worry
                      Also from what I can see, it’s mainly Aruna that made the bold statement and I don’t think anyone will give her comment much attention.
                      If you need anything from me , just ask
                      Sleep well sleepy

                      Liked by 1 person

                    57. Thank you for this.
                      Asd for Aruna, entertain yourself. When you have a moment search for her comments on the previous post. You asked to come live with me and be my servant. Seriously.

                      She leaves comments sporadically. Not on one comment chain. So you may have to skim all of the comments to find all of hers.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    58. I read those. I wanted to mention them to you yesterday but I didn’t want to waste any time talking about other people!
                      So…odd but like… weirdly innocent!
                      No need to thank me. I just say what I feel. Can’t help it

                      Liked by 1 person

                    59. God, I know. I am still reading it every 5 minutes.

                      Lol, that’s cool. She’s so funny and sweet.
                      I love your devilish side. How many times must I tell you.

                      You did confess… Not forgiven for keeping
                      it a secrett from me for a while. But really… totally forgiven

                      Liked by 1 person

                    60. I know agapi. I was joking of course. I knew how you felt. When I told you my own feelings it was just for You. I didn’t need you to say anything.
                      But you did
                      And my heart …well you know the rest

                      Liked by 1 person

                    61. Please never stop saying these things to me.

                      I have to go now. I am so sorry baby. I thought I had more time.
                      I’ll be back with you around 2 ish your time.

                      So so much ❤️
                      Never letting go

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                    62. Yes, I am still responding to comments. Aruna is going a little haywired. G was wonderful to me.

                      At this time of day it already has over 160 likes.
                      It almost feels like the good old days.

                      Thursday is Thanksgiving here. So, I won’t be posting. Wednesday, I will spend the entire day in the street. (I will be available to you).

                      So, I am thinking of posting my second post of the week tomorrow. What do you think?
                      It is the universe post.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    63. I have a hypothetical question. Just think about it and humour me.
                      I let’s say around April time there was a period of time where I may be here alone for a few days due to a possible trip abroad for others, would you consider a trip to London.

                      Hypothetically speaking.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    64. I was thinking about that actually.
                      Love hung in her closet showed me another side to you. I started to think about how you felt about me
                      Never sent to you made me cry my eyes out.
                      Love and poetry made my heart race for you.
                      Vagabond days made me WISH it was for me (I didn’t know at the time)

                      But this one made me fall even deeper.

                      It’s this one

                      Liked by 1 person