50 Shades of Black and Blue

Friends on occasion ask me, Lonely Author do you penchant poetry? Yes, people close to me use the word penchant. That demonstrates I don’t monkey around when it comes to deciding who I let into my inner circle.

After journeying through the blogosphere and reading the intriguing works of many a poet and poetess, I am inspired to dabble in poetic verse or two.

I hope I inspire you as well. (And I don’t mean to quit writing.)

50 Shades of Black and Blue

                                                    By Lonely Author

She beat me to a pulp
that’s what sadists do
kicked me over and over
til I was 50 shades of black and blue

She hit me with a bat
slammed against the window sill
oh the excruciating pain
she showed me my cable bill

Poked me in the eye
smashed my little toe
stomped on my fingers
all to prevent me from writing prose

Have a wonderful week. Hope I made you smile.



140 thoughts on “50 Shades of Black and Blue

  1. “Goodnight, sleep tight.
    Don’t let the bed bugs bite.
    If they do,
    take a shoe,
    and beat them until they’re black and blue.”

    You reminded me of this.

    Liked by 7 people

      1. No, unfortunately my poetry only consist of the debaucherous type.
        “Roses are red.
        Violets are blue.
        His cock taste of ambrosia,
        and his sweat ridden balls do too.”
        : )

        Liked by 5 people

              1. Thank you! I appreciate that very much. The positive early praise the book has received helps lessen my nerves. Most of my nerves are now directed at the face-to-face marketing. I have a book signing set up and my publisher will work on scheduling more. That’s what really makes my knees wobble. :/

                Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, I am flattered by your gesture. I feel very awkward being nominated for any award since I just started blogging a month ago. I think it would be unfair to the many talented people who have been blogging for so long. Thank you so much for thinking of me. Like I said I am very flattered, but at this time, I don’t think I deserve it. From the bottom of my heart, thanks so much.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You deserve it, but be warned–it will cut into your writing time. When I recieved the Liebster award, It took a couple of days (probably more) to get it all together. Then I was nominated for another award, then another, and yet another. I finally had to quit accepting them. For a while, I put a big thingy on my blog stating it was an award free blog, and also deleted the posts I had written, which comes with accepting the award. I felt honored, but honestly, I needed the time spent accepting awards for my own writing.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Oh, I started blogging a month ago. I am sure there are more worthy bloggers that me. Thanks so much for saying it, but honestly, this monkey is very goals orientated, and the purpose of my blog was to 1) get published 2) network 3) be inspired by authors 4) learn from more experienced authors 5) have some fun. Sure, it would be nice to win awards, but the ones I am interested need to be honors bestowed on me because of my novels. Still learning how to blog and how to administrate this page. I have the bare minimum from wordpress. I do want to add that “no.awards” message to my page. As well as links to my favorite blogs. Don’t know if that can be done at this level. Thanks so much for your kindness.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I think both can be done with a free WP account.
            Re of blogs you follow…on your WP menu go to >appearance >widgets…scroll down until you find a widget for blog roll and add. You can add it to your sidebar and add links there.
            Re award free blog…go on your internet browser, do a search for “award free blog” pics, copy one of your choice into the pics on your computer, then upload it to your media library on WP. Scroll down in widgets until you find one for image, and add it to your sidebar. Then open the image widget, and add URL to it. (The one in your image library.
            I know I didn’t explain it well, but if you search help on WP, it will guide you through anything you wish to do. I’ve used it many times.

            Liked by 1 person

  2. You got more than a smile from me; you got outright laughter. What a joy to read! And I commiserate with you about the mysterious “she” (pssst… muses can be mean bitches some days, but you didn’t hear that from me!)… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That is indeed wonderful news; I love to hear happy couple stories! You will no doubt need her encouragement to accomplish your goals. You certainly have the talent, and with a live-in, loving muse, you are bound to succeed…

        My muse turned out to be the jealous type; she only tolerates friends, animals and roommates… oh wait… that might be me. *sheepish grin*

        Moving along now… ‘Nothing to see here, peeps.” Lol

        Liked by 1 person

      1. haha…I am expensive, that’s for sure 🙂 ….yes, I can only imagine after having fun-up a few in my day, when I had cable…now I have satellite and that’s way different:D

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Funny you should say that. At one point I considered naming my blog Catching Bananas. Seriously, thank you for saying that. I wanted to start a blog as a rest stop for writers to laugh and relax. And of course to talk about my favorite subject – writing. I will be stopping by The Wanderlust Keeper to read some more. Thanks for the compliments.

      Liked by 1 person

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