Sorry for the sloppiness in my post. There was quite a bit of static on my cell phone when my friend suggested the perfect post to start 2016 with a bang; presidential erections.
Start the Pomp and Circumstance
Yes, after much debate, Lonely Author is thinking of tossing his New York Yankees cap into the political arena.
Please don’t ask me what party I am affiliated with. Lonely Author will attend any party that serves wine and finger foods.
Forget the false campaign promises. Forget the chicken in every pot (or as they promise in Colorado some pot in every chicken).
Why make America great again; when we can make it Pretty Darn Good.
Yes, you heard me. Let’s Make America Pretty Darn Good Again.
If nominated I am considering my good friend Bun Karyudo as my Veep. Not sure if he will accept since he is currently unconsideration to be the next James Bond. (Here is the link to his page to read the stuff that leaves Lonely Author LOLing) https://bunkaryudo.wordpress.com/
Let’s Make America Pretty Darn Good Again
- Why build walls, when we can make fences? Yes fences. How else are we going to stop the neighbor’s dog from pooping on our lawns? You see America. I know what you really want.
- Stop all false advertising. Say the truth: One size fits none! As George Carlin once said “New and Improved is impossible. If it’s new it can’t be improved. And if it’s improved; it can’t possibly be new.”
- A portable lie detector for every female over the age of 16. Yes, that way all the ladies can know when her friend/boyfriend/husband is a lying cheating scoundrel. (Hey, move over Hilary. I know how to pander to the female vote).
Happy 2016.
Have a great week.
Keep smiling.
Keep writing.
This post is pretty darn hilarious!
I didn’t know that about Bun 😀
I wish you both a great year ahead 🙂
Anand
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Thank you so much. Follow him as well, really funny stuff on his blog. Thanks. Peace in love to you and yours in 2016.
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🙂 🙂 🙂
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HA!
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Thanks. Does that mean I get your vote?
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Yep! So far your the first candidate I think might give me back that mediocre sense of freedom!
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Exactly. LOL You were listening. Why be great when we can be Pretty Darn Good
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A chicken leg in every pot!
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LOL You made me COL (coughing out loud).
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Oh, I restate: mucinex in every pot
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LOL
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I vote for the chimp. Your friend is hilarious so I added him to the blogs I follow.
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Thank you so much. 1 vote for the chimp.
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Welcome 🙂
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I like your style! You’ve got my vote!
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LOL Thanks for stopping by to read.
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Needed that laugh. Also this is the clearest political announcement and plan I’ve heard in years.
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LOL Thanks for stopping by to read Charles. Have a good one.
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Finally! A common sense candidate! You’ve got my vote!
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Thanks Meg
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Ha! Great post! Hilarious as anything!
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Thanks for stopping by to read.
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Pretty Good Start to 2016……More of the same each of the ensuing days… 😉
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LOL Thanks for saying that. Have a good one.
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I’d vote for you (of course if George Carlin were still living I’d vote for him over you just because he has name recognition). Anybody but the bunch of jackasses currently running.
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We agree 100%. Oh, I’d vote for Carlin, too. Thanks for stopping by to read.
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I believe that since the picture that you post is a descendant of man
That should be the candidate
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That makes two votes for the Chimp. Thanks Sheldon.
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Hahaha. This got me Laughing out loud 😀 well all the very best. And you’ve got one vote right here 🙋
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Thanks for stopping by. Glad you enjoyed.
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Funny! Sometimes you gotta laugh! 🙉🙈🙊
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LOL Thanks for stopping by. Glad you enjoyed. Love the three chimps.
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Me too.
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Fun post, made me smile! Here’s what I (and many others) think of your opponent –
https://randomrantsruminationsramblings.wordpress.com/2015/12/30/i-dreamt-about-the-donald/
The guy makes Sarah Palin look good!
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Thanks for reading. I will drop by to read. Thanks for sharing. Have a good one.
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I enjoyed it! You have a good one, too!
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Thanks
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With those presidential erections it is bound to be a mess. 😛
Thanks for the laugh in the early “here to be the best year yet to be created” 2016
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LOL Hoping your 2016 is full of laughs, love, and inspiration. Thanks for stoping by.
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If I was an American I’d vote for you 😀
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Thanks for saying that. LOL And thanks for reading. I will visit you later today.
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I was all ready to throw in my vote until I read the part about the lie detectors. Not sure how that one will sit with the women libbers.
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LOL
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you have a good sense of humor.
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Thank you for stopping by to read.
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Hahaha! You made my day :))
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Thanks for stopping by. Have a good day.
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It is an absolute delight to read you. You make me smile. Loved it.
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Makes me happy. Thanks
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I’m glad. Smiles.
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Haha, start was with a bang, indeed. 😉
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LOL I am a bad boy. Thanks for stopping by.
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It’s a pleasure, really 😉
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Smiling
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This is so funny :p
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Thanks for readin it. Have a wonderful week.
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Thank you, now I actually have an actual person I can write in instead of using Mickey Mouse or Bozo the Clown! 😀
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LOL LA vote for this chimp….is a vote for this chimp. Thanks for your support. haha
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I’d give you and Bun a vote. But I imagine there are plenty of men who would like a portable lie detector test too. Unfortunately fibbing knows no gender boundary. No need for you guys to take all the blame!
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Carrie, LOL. Thanks for that. But let me emphasize I didn’t say that. People seem to read ALL my comments. Did you post today?
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I did. Finally.
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I will by a little later. Thanks
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No worries. I’m sure you already know the tech info I gave in it, anyway. Because if I’M giving tech info, you know it’s basic.
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I know the basics. But I will drop by. Never know if there’s something new.
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I had pretty much decided on writing in John Galt but now, I’ve some re-considering to do!:0)
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Nice. This chimp will not monkey around, I’ll get things done. LOL
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Perhaps less is more? lol! Can you ensure the safety of grid-lock?;-)
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LOL I will do what I can. The good thing I’ll work for bananas
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Now there’s an idea I can get behind! You can count on my vote! lol
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Thanks lol
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What difference wud it make wid a portable lie detector?? If I accept the fact that this is part of life and polygamy is not demolished then the mind might rest in peace. Hey, am just saying.
Polyandry should be equally honoured. LOL
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Oh man. You drop by to make me laugh everytime. I honor everything. Well, everything except for beastiality. I guess thats why this chimp is lonely.
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Beastiality ??? Like ???
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Beastiality like this chimp and anyone.
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Hooray hooray for the American Way! I’m making posters for your campaign. They show a risen finger and the American pie into which it was dipped, perched below.
Where can I send my bill?
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LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
OMG. This is already going down as the response of the year. Yes, we will make America Pretty Darn Good Again
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LOL, you have my vote! 🙂
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Lonely Chimp Power. Thanks for stopping by
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Hysterical !! I bet you have Bill Clinton’s vote as soon as you said Presidential Erections 😛
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Thanks LOL Can’t believe you went there. I am in tears. Thanks for stopping by. Got to catch my breath
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I would NEVER vote for you. I am too accustom to being lied to and your truthful humor makes me uncomfortable. So, if you want my vote, lie to me Baby. Lie to me. 😉
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For a minutes I thought you said lie with me baby.
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LOL! That would get my vote too. 😃💋
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LOL Bad girl
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Just a voter willing to be swayed by creative campaign promises. Let’s face it, that would be WAY BETTER than a hand shake. 🙂
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So true. I had to read this two times in search of a hidden joke. lol
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In case you hadn’t noticed, I don’t usually hide anything. I am pretty out and open with my intents. Yes, it’s terrifying, but what the Hell. 🙂
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I know. That’s why I scratched my head waiting for the punch line.
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If I want to punch you, the pain in your arm will let you know. 🙂
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Cool. I am not into pain. Only pleasure.
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Oh, after I punch you, I promise I’ll kiss and make it feel better. 🙂
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Punch away my dear.
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That just brought a HUGE SMILE to my face. Thank you. 💋
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Smiling
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I bet I could turn that smile wicked. 😈
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Lingerie does the trick for me every time.
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NOW your making requests, are you? Pushy thing aren’t you? Maybe you need to just sit back and see what comes your way. 💋😃💋
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I am patient. Smiling
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I am NOT. 😃
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I realize that every Saturday. lol
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I have NO idea what you are talking about! 😇
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lol
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LOL!
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Thanks for reading
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Oh no. Can’t vote for a Yankees fan. Being a Yankee’s fan, I’d expect you to try to buy the election, then still lose. Now if you were a Cubs fan, I would definitely vote for you.
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Hahaha Buying an election typical of a politician. If Geroge Steinbrenner were still around, he buy EVERYONE, still lose, and fire them all. Thanks for stoping by.
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The wings of frustration? Those are flopping big time from all of us or some of us? Writers? O! Go figure it, my lonely on the money writer friend. 🙂
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Hahaha Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate it.
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Reblogged this on KCJones.
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Wanna be my campaign manager. Thanks for the reblog.
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Obamas had a bad Christmas looking like that – whoops careful walls have ears – oh to hell with it he does look like that – less of the monkey jokes
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LOL Bad boy Ian
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Proving l can be sometimes but most of the time this is me 😇
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Hahaha Thanks for stopping by my friend. Have a good one.
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This sounds like a platform that can give Trump a real challenge. Make him pay for your fence and I believe you gain the edge.
Hilarious!! 😀
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OH, what a responce. You have me in tears. Trump should be paying for my fences. Your response was just as funny as the post. Well done.
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Now this is awkward; do I have to choose? My father’s campaign slogan is “YOU can NEVER have enough frosting”.
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Damn he WINS. I love frosting. I mean
I LOVE FROSTING lol
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Right?
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lol
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America will never be the same. And I mean that in the nicest way possible LOL Count me in, Yankee cap and all!
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Ha Thanks so much for that. Laughing.
And thanks for stopping by. Have a great day.
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You,too, sir! Enjoy!
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Thanks
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hahahaha!!! this blog is so hilarious! 🙂 hahahaha!!!
Check out this video since you mention my favorite hero of all time: George Carlin.
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Thanks for this share. He was a genius. One of the greatest. And thanks for the compliment.
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You are welcome. 🙂
I have the DVD of George Carlin called: You are all Diseased. 🙂
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I wonderful if they have it on Hulu or Netflix. I will search for it.
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I don’t think they have it on hulu. I know for sure they don’t have it on Netflix. I checked. You have to search for it online for free.
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Perfect. Thanks
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Ha ha ha… Brilliant! You have my vote… Very witty! 😀
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Thank you so much. Happy you enjoyed.
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Lol lool…ahh…you have my vote
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Smiling. Glad you enjoyed. Thanks
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Mine too 😀
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Love your chimp photos….so handsomely cute 😉
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Thanks. I am kinda cute. That handsome boyish quality. lol
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Ha ha😂
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You’ve got my vote! I love the rule for every woman and the lie detector… That would’ve helped me so much… A few years ago 😉 ✨🌟👍
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It woud have helped plenty of ladies. Thanks for reading
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LOL That’s a good one. Will certainty vote for him.
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lol
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