The Butterfly In You

10152495_676876189036144_3517906921649913338_n - Copy

This is a reenactment of a telephone conversation.

“Well, I’m the kind of girl most guys aren’t interested in. I have stubby legs. So, I am very short. My arms are fat like a wrestler. My butt is average, but it looks small because my boobs are abnormally huge. I hate my smile because I have a crooked tooth. Other men aren’t interested in me, but maybe you would like to meet me.”

That was my first wife describing herself.

When I hung up, I vowed to become her best friend. (I don’t remember what I said to her, she swears she knew she was going to marry me after that first conversation).

We talked on the phone everyday four months. In November, I flew 1350 miles (to the Dominican Republic) to meet my friend.

During conversations with her sisters and her parents, I learned she had been abused by her prior boyfriend of seven years.

When I met her, the wounds from the slaps, punches, kicks, and head slamming against the wall (that was his favorite) all healed.

As you can see by her self description she never healed from the verbal abuse.

My mother always told me “women are sacred.” I feel that in my heart.

You don’t hurt a butterfly.

On nights of introspection, she used to say there’s a little girl inside her that wants to get out.

My style with ALL the women has always been to encourage growth. Explore and experience life. Love yourself. Appreciate who you are. Learn your hidden talents.

Find out who that little girl was meant to be.

With this spread your wings approach, my first wife discovered a talent for languages. My current wife Allie learned she has a talent for drawing, decorating, and photography. My friend in the bad relationship, she finished culinary school.

It is never too late to spread your wings. 

Focusing on your failed relationship will only waste precious time. Forget those lost years. You still have time to live, to explore, to be happy.

But your happiness depends on you. And that starts with loving the person in your mirror. When you learn to love yourself, when you value yourself, you will never permit anyone to hurt you.  There’s nothing more beautiful than a confident butterfly.

So ladies, it is up to you to spread your wings.

Fly. butterfly. fly.


Photo is a selfie taken by my wife Allie.


253 thoughts on “The Butterfly In You

  1. U kno Andrew! ?

    There are 2 bloggers til now in blogosphere who beautifully express love
    So magically Penn abt love
    Dat people start loving
    And believing in love

    Though I m new here, in 2 months I saw 2 people writing so wonderful

    And all about love!

    One is you
    Other is Daksi

    #immense love

    Whenever I read ur n his posts
    I m forced to believe in magical love

    This is strange!


    1. Thank you so much. I had forgotten all about it. Thank you or reading. I was an abused child (physical not sexual). And it appears all my female friends have always experienced some sort of abuse. I used to think I was a magnet for these women, but now I believe they are meant to cross my path. Sorry for the long winded response. Thanks for stopping by. Have a wonderful day.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. What a great post and even greater words that we all need to hear. Most women have been abused in some way shape or form, and though it is rough – we can get through it and make this life a great one. We can let the Light in and let ourselves shine in such a positive and inspirational way that the past (though will always be there) will dim and only be overshadowed by Light and Love!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It was just so beautifully awesome. I really never thought that a guy can think like this but I’m really glad you do. Your wife is beautiful and she’s lucky to have you.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Most beautifully conversation between you and beautiful is true that every girl and woman are like butterfly.they have to recognise themselves and not to allow any body to hurt her.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Still now,i am flying like the butterfly in all garden from Florida’s palm trees to my Kashmir’s Chinaar’s trees;
        Wow my chunari(long scarf) is blowing in sky by heavenly breeze.
        I am lost in dream with opened eyes in unknown paradise;
        Come my lost dear beloved !! Here is love’s land why you are surrounded to think as distinguish.

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Yeah.i am most happy and heart is smiling because of you.yeah.i have a great night after that great much thanks my dear!!my heart is giving you many blessed kisses on your forehead.Big hugs and mucho love❤🌹❤🌴❤🍁


  5. It is important to understand that we, human beings, are wired to attach to other people. Unfortunately, attachment trauma can lead us to live in poor relationships in all areas of our lives. Also, love is a foreign language for people. Why? How can you love someone or let yourself go with that feeling when the love your partner has to give to you is so unfamiliar? Some women accept to stay with violent partners because that dynamic is familiar to them, and they reject healthy partners because they can’t provide the roller coaster drama that violent people do.

    I am glad she could find her way, back “home”!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.