Fragments Of Me

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When we were young our lives consisted of questions.

The questions we needed answered. The hundreds of questions our parents and teachers asked.

But a ten year old was never meant to have all the answers.

My classmates attended the big party. Stupid me promised to dance with every girl. Boys stood on one side, girls on the other.

My friends taunted me. “Go dance.”

With wobbly knees and sweaty forehead, I tried to look cool.

Then I spotted Lisa Big Boobies Barelli. Oh my, she could fill up a B-cup like no other girl in school.

Ever since kindergarten when she first smiled at me, I knew the other girls didn’t compare. Lisa had all her teeth.

From across the room I admired her.

Who cares if she had rounder cheeks than the other girls?

Lisa had something the skinny girls didn’t have.

She had curves.

Deep breath…..I broke the ice approaching the circle of “cool girls” as they giggled like hyenas.

Unable to speak, I did something that became my signature move. Never inviting her to dance, I took Lisa’s hand and led her to the dance floor.

Everyone watched us dance as I impressed her with witty banter.

She said, “Nice party.”

I replied, “Uh-huh.”

“Are you wearing perfume?”

“Yeah.”

Even at that early age I knew women preferred a good smelling man. So, I wore my mother’s Chanel #5.

My friends mocked me for dancing with Lisa. I maneuvered us around so she wouldn’t see their hurtful antics.

The boys never understood. Why dance with other girls if I was already dancing with the prettiest one?

“Andrew, there’s so many beautiful girls here with lovely dresses and their hair in pretty curls. You could’ve danced with any of them.”

Then, Lisa asked the terrifying question.  “Why me?”

I felt the universe collapsing on me. Boys laughed. Girls gave me dirty looks. Now, I had to answer this….

How much pressure could one ten year old take?

Searching for infinite wisdom, I gazed into her big blue eyes and whispered. “Why not?”

The lights dimmed.

A love song came on.

Lisa gave me a bear hug and kissed my cheek.

Thankfully, the darkness cloaked my confusion.

That ten year old boy learned so much that night.

He learned about having the courage to be the first.

He learned to go after the girl he wanted, no matter what anyone else thought.

And dancing cheek to cheek…

He learned some questions are meant to be answered by asking another question.

 

Photo of myself taken by friend of the family.

309 thoughts on “Fragments Of Me

  1. Wise beyond your years! I liked the whole post. You were shy in some ways but pushed yourself through towards action. A great example for us all. Plus, you ended up having a fantastic time. Kissed on cheek and slow dancing at age 10.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Wow! I see you started your education early. I’m impressed I’ve never been a smooth operator and I’ve only ever had the dimmest idea why women act in the mysterious ways they do.

    I think I may have been around the same age when a girl called Paula suddenly kissed me on the nose on day. I’m still not quite sure why. I do know it was a depressing number of years before any other girls followed her example.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, my intentions were definitely different. I really had a big crush on this chubby girl that everyone else rejected. I saw the beauty in her blue eyes and her lovely hair. She had an amazing personality. Warm sense of humor and big heart. Even today, I find beauty in “flawed” women. I love humble women.

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      1. My first real crush…and I mean real crush was a boy who had a hook nose, big ears that stuck out, glasses and braces. To this day, we stay in touch and he brings a smile to my face.
        Hell, when I met Loser, he looked like a street bum and had horrible acne scars all over his face. I was attracted to his brain, I guess. It sure wasn’t his entitled attitude. LOL

        Liked by 1 person

          1. The other day my youngest daughter said “mom. When dad met you, he saw beauty, brains and talent and he married you so that you could give him beautiful, intelligent, talented KIDS.” I have to tell you, hearing that was like a punch in the gut. That’s all? I wasted my entire young life just to give some mother fucker the kind of children he thought he was supposed to have?
            Well….he lost. He couldn’t make the boys his mama told him he HAD to have…(but you know it was MY fault he had girls.) LOL

            Liked by 1 person

              1. He got his companionship from his tramps (which my youngest said is the reason and the only reason he’s with his current tramp.)
                He thought he was going to rule the world. Somewhere along the line, I think he realized that he wasn’t…and it changed him.

                Liked by 1 person

                  1. Because I was so trusting. I never questioned why he didn’t come home after work. He was an excellent glad-hander. He was trying to crawl his way to the top of the business and did whatever it took to get there. When it came time to introduce me to the “higher-ups” he loved showing me off. Some of them would say “man! You married UP!”
                    I was a queen in the kitchen and a lady in the lounge but I admit that I wasn’t a whore in bed…and I think he wanted class at home and trash at work.

                    Liked by 1 person

  3. Awwww! Fragments of Me keeps on getting better and better. I’m so happy to have discovered THIS blog or rather the chimp behind the blog 🙂

    Not only could Lisa fill a b-cup like no other girl in school, she also had all her teeth, which is rare, when you’re around that age.

    Thanks for the laugh and making my day a whole lot better.

    Well wishes, Christine!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I find it interesting to think of ourselves as evolving into different people in the same skin as we mature. A different decision here and there would have taken us down that other ROAD that made all the difference. Enjoyed your piece….jh

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome; it was a most pleasant change after reading Jeremy Bentham all day! 🙂 BTW, I thought you might find this interesting…..From a recent PBS Newshour transcript.
        Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Tracy Letts has famously depicted family dysfunction, but his latest play, “Mary Page Marlowe,” is more concerned with questions of identity, examining the life of its protagonist from infancy to old age in non-linear fashion to find out what makes her herself. Jeffrey Brown takes a look at the play and Letts’s creative process.
        From a recent PBS Newshour transcript.
        Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Tracy Letts has famously depicted family dysfunction, but his latest play, “Mary Page Marlowe,” is more concerned with questions of identity, examining the life of its protagonist from infancy to old age in non-linear fashion to find out what makes her herself. Jeffrey Brown takes a look at the play and Letts’s creative process.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. That is very interesting. To some extent that is what I have tried to accomplish with this series I call Fragments of Me. I have written a few, and it’s all with the purpose of getting a better understanding of myself and what events made me the way I am. THnak you for taking the time out to read and contribute these thoughts to the post.

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  5. Forgive me, I’m new here and just read all of your “Fragments of Me” stories. Are these true? How heartbreaking. I rarely meet people who can be open about their tragic stories. So brave. These are really something, and so well-written. I’m always amazed at what some humans go through and yet come out so much better than their circumstances. I especially loved the story about Lisa and dancing. I also really liked how you showed something you learned from each circumstance. That is the entire purpose of my blog and my writing. Thank you for sharing these.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, they are stories of my childhood and what I learned from these events.

      Very flattered that you would take out the time to read these. They are treasures to me, so your reading of them really touched me. Thank you so much for your kind words.

      In my opinion, for our writing to feel real, we must learn to dig deep inside of our heart and soul to make the sensations of our characters real. We needs to draw on our experiences, good and bad, to improve our writing. So the whole Fragments of Me, was an exercise.
      Thanks so much.

      Liked by 1 person

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