“You never had a pedicure?” Stunned, my wife and daughter stared at me.
Maybe the Chimp needed to get in touch with his feminine side.
Coming home from my doctor’s appointment, I journeyed into a beauty salon.
To ignore the strange looks from the women I picked up a magazine. Apparently, Caitlyn Jenner doesn’t feel like a woman anymore.
A tiny Asian woman led me to chair that stood above a tub. Removing my sneakers, socks, and rolling up my jeans, I sank my feet into the warm water.
I could get used to this.
I started clever salon conversation. “Are you excited about the new season of ‘The Voice?’”
The thin woman next to me made awful sounds with her gum as if she learned to chew by watching cattle grazing.
Forget the conversation.
This Chimp knows there’s no greater turn off than a man with crusty nails. So, there wasn’t much for the old lady to do there.
The old lady started rubbing some grating apparatus against my heel. When she moved to the bridge of my foot….
Quickly withdrawing, I yelled, and leapt out of my seat.
The entire salon turned to look at me.
“I’m ticklish.”
Returning my hoof to the old lady, I ignored a room full of shaking heads and rolling eyes.
Biting my lip, she continued on that sweet spot.
At this moment I knew men are the weaker sex; child birth, monthly cramps, pedicures, raising immature husbands.
Women are built to stand excruciating torture.
No wonder why I couldn’t keep a woman. I submitted them to this cruel torture.
Minutes later she massaged my foot with a fragrant cream. It actually made me a little drowsy.
Two quick taps on my foot.
Some relaxing Oriental massage trick.
Two more taps.
A salon full of women yelled in unison, “She wants the other foot.”
How humiliating.
She painted my toe nails with a clear enamel although a cream colored French manicure may have gone well with my Earth tone eyes.
An hour later, I entered my apartment.
Leaving my shoes and socks on the welcome mat, I stood before my wife and daughter. Then, I truly got in touch with my feminine side.
No one noticed my lovely pedals.
I truly knew how it felt to be a woman; an unappreciated flower.
Alas, getting in touch with my feminine side wasn’t what I thought it would be.
Perhaps, next time I want to get in touch with my feminine side I could get a Brazilian Wax.
I THINK NOT.
Wax ?ur wife is enough waxing to u.lol
Ganja hi banaa degi.
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lol
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Yeah u funny.
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Oh my😂😂😂 sweetest story ever and so funny.. You get an A for the effort of trying to grasp us and all that entails 💕 love it!
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LOL It was an awful experience. Totally humiliated myself. haha All to get in touch with my feminine side.
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You are brave for even trying 😅
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Thanks for saying that
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Great fun to read, sounds lovely though, I’ve never had a pedicure either, have always done my own. That could eliminate the tickle factor lol
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LOL Yeah, I have always taken care of my own feet. Always keep them looking nice, but I was curious about the whole pedicure thing. Won’t so that again. I looked like a childish fool. lol Thanks for stopping by to read my crazy post.
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Ok, at first this made me smile. Then the end comment of the Brazilian laugh caused a right out laugh (living in Brazil and all). This is funny.
🙂
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LOL When you hit like, I jumped over to your blog and read this wonderful post about connections. Glad you enjoyed. This happened this past Friday. I wanted to know how this felt. Thanks for stopping by to read.
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Ohhh, I’m so glad you enjoyed that post about connections. We need them, right?
Hahaha. Well, my hats off to you. A lot of guys wouldn’t even consider trying something like that out. Hahahahaha. Did you end up telling your wife and daughter afterwards?
🙂
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Sure did. And they were hysterical. They couldn’t believe I had the courage to do it. Thanks for reading my crazy post.
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Hahahaha. I’m sure they were. My hubby is a big wimp when it comes to his toe nails. I tried to give him a pedi makeover once, but he ended up wimping out. Hahaha.
You’re welcome. It was very humorous.
🙂
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Thank you for stopping by to read.
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🙂
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Reblogged this on Crazy Pasta Child.
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Thank you so much for the reblog. I appreciate your support.
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Thank you for the reblog. I appreciate your kind gesture.
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Another great read and much chuckling…thanks Chimp! Ha ha ha…
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Glad to make you laugh. Thank you for stopping by to read.
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Good luck with the waxing 🙂
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LOL
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My husband and I had a couple’s pedicure once. He really enjoyed–or so he said. He DID balk at the red toenail polish, although I told him it would look fetching. Or fetish-y.
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Haha That is funny. Maybe he isn’t as ticklish as this Chimp. I made a fool of myself. Thanks for stopping by to read.
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Oh my this was a hoot. Thank you
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Smiling. Happy you enjoyed. Thanks for reading it. Appreciate that. Have a great day.
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Your pedicure sounds harsh but the next time will go easier. I have done my own feet all my life (also hands and nails.)
I have only recently been treated to a facial. There were men in the downstairs of a house where you retreat to a place you may wear a robe and lie on a heated table. The massage of my shoulders, neck, ears and scalp surprised me, since I was thinking face only. I loved this! 60 and a new experience given for my birthday in November. 🙂
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That is very interesting. I assumed that a facial was face only. That sounded like a relaxing (pampering) experience. I could go for one of those. But the whole foot thing, not again. There was no privacy. And the women clients were mean. It was borderline bullying, I will continue to do my own feet. Thanks for sharing your experience. Belated happy birthday and congrats on such a wonderful number. Thank you so much for the visit.
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This one was hilarious and a welcome read after the pieces of you. I can’t believe that with all your attention to your women’s feet you actually never had a pedicure yourself. It is so rewarding after a difficult week! The best thing before a pedicure is a neck massage. Next time you should try that.
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Neck massage I am all in, I get three a week in physical therapy. Love them. I am just too ticklish to have people touching my feet. Made c omplete fool of myself.
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I am sure the women went home laughing and chattering away to friends about this silly man who was jumping up like a jack in a beanstock because someone was just taking care of his feet. You must have been the latest talk in town, lol. Pulling your leg of course. If I remember well you live in New York and am pretty sure people there have seen pretty much everything under the sun so they must be quite blasé..
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No, I imagined the exact same thing. Everyone ralking about the ticklish fool. lol My ears should have been ringing for days. No, the women were very unkind. Almost bullies….
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Oh, here they are funny and sweet in the salons
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If I do it again, I’ll do it over there. 😀
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Ah ah ah, you’d have to try hard. Men and women are usually tended to in separate salons here
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USA is so far behind in so many things. Ironic, Amercians like to think they are the leaders.
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Hahahahahaha. ….I enjoyed reading this! Thank you so much for the laugh!
I’m very ticklish too…and every time I get a pedicure my pedicurist laughs her heart out at the way I contort my face trying not to feel ticklish!
Glad you got in touch with your feminine side! 😀
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A strange & somewhat embarrassng experience. Made a complete fool of myself. lol Glad you enjoyed reading it. Thanks for stopping by. Have a great weekend.
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You too! 🙂
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Reblogged this on barclaydave and commented:
Ouch! As always dear reader please leave comments on the original post and not just here. Is it really that good getting a pedicure?
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Really funny Dave > Like the way you write mate
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Thank you so much for dropping by to read and comment. Name is Andrew. lol
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Hiya Andrew LOL > Thanks for following. Seeing as I’m also called Andrew getting your name right is now at the top of my fluffy brain ‘to get right and wake up right now’ list.
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Laughing. Have a great day my friend.
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I laughed myself silly—and I’m jealous! 😀
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Laughing. That is what happened during the pedicure. Made a complete fool of myself.
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LOL!
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Reblogged this on quirkywritingcorner and commented:
Delightful story! I’ve never had a pedicure, but I’ve been thinking of getting one.
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Laughing. Thanks for reading it and for the reblog. This was a true story. Will never do that again. lol
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I laughed aloud when I read this post because I had a pedicure yesterday. Thanks for the giggle. You do like feet huh?
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Me??? I have a terrible foot fetish. I can’t connect with a woman if she doesn’t let me connect with her feet. I am an odd Chimp. Thanks for reading.
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And I am not a fan of feet. How funny! But my toenails are painted today! lol
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Bravo. lol
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You are hilarious. I don’t think…no, maybe once, I’ve done this. Nobody, ever goes near to my feet for fear they’d lose their front teeth. It would take a brave soul to even try. A firm grip is what it is all about. I’ll happily massage feet all day long but my own…damn. You’re a braver girl than I’ll ever be.
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Hahaha Too funny. LOL I felt guilty. How many women have I sent to this excrutiating torture?? It was a terrible experince for me.
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In the right hands and the right time, it exactly that but for all the right reasons. I might not be making much sense.
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I undertand.
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Thanks for sharing.. This was just what I needed while drinking my coffee at work. 😉
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Smiling. I am so happy that you appreciate this little poem. Thank you for taking the time out to read and comment. Have a wonderful day.
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Hehe.. I too am ticklish 😛 Few weeks ago I went to see a doctor as I was having pain in one of my legs. He asked me to lie down and started checking my knee joint, when I sat up, bursting in laughing.. That look of his, I can’t forget it, but I didn’t felt ashamed. I don’t feel ashamed 😝
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Oh, this is funny Jaya. I am very ticklish too.
I hope the doctor laughed.
I am finally catching up to old messages. Thank you so much for your beautiful support.
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