Badassery

Published on by thelonelyauthorblog

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Yesterday, I had the pleasure of reading “bad ass” posts from three female bloggers. Those of you who have read my Devil Girl Diaries already know I have a weakness for bad girls.

These ladies (and I won’t say their names to be sure I don’t offend) have inspired me to write a bad boy piece.  This is out of my usual writing comfort zone, but here it goes.  A taste of bad boy Chimp.

 

Badassery

This New Yorker is not like other dudes
definitely, not like this latest generation
young punks who can’t pay a restaurant check
cowards looking for courage behind a cell text
I am good and bad and everything in between
I drink my Johnnie Walker straight with no ice
don’t want anything watered down
not my drinks, my words, definitely not my sex

I won’t ask you for a kiss, I will take it
don’t misinterpret me, there will be tenderness
this gentleman will hold the door open for you
and slap your ass as you walk by
don’t like making love, but I love making out
forget beds, don’t need cushion when I’m pushing
I’d introduce you to the floor, shower, and every wall
as we make perspiring memories with a sigh

I love the ladies, have enjoyed quite a few
Superman had kryptonite, I have my weakness too
love legs, feet, lingerie, breasts, and bad ass girls
yeah, I adore the ladies full of badassery
no I won’t flinch like other cowards
love creative women who challenge my brain
if a confident bad ass woman can blow my mind
well then, she may be able to handle the rest of me

 

Photo of my wife Allie taken Halloween 2014

144 thoughts on “Badassery”

          1. I’ve just woken up (it’s morning here) and read all the comments from others who appreciated your bad assery. I think you need to stray out of your comfort zone more often! Keep smiling. And writing.

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  3. Ah, something fresh from the Chimp.
    I appreciate men who do not fear women’s strength and intelligence; men who stand beside their women while the latter work to achieve their dreams. Some men feel threatened by us confident women, they do the stupidest things and make a fool of themselves.
    I enjoyed this very much.

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  4. Oh My God! Andrew, when you told me you’d be writing a piece on badassery, I didn’t know you’d be such a smooth badass yourself. You are making me feel so good about being a badass. A little thing though, I have no idea why you thought I’d be offended. This is a compliment, a badass spanking another- what can get hotter than this? Love it, Andrew, Its spankilicious!!

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    1. Haha I dont’ know you well enough to know if it would have offended you. I admire your work so much, I didn’t want to take that chance. Yeah, you inspired this. Too many times in life, good guys and girls get left behind. They lose opportunities because they hold themseves back. I am trying to seeking representation for two novels and screenplays. Time to be a little bad ass and get this done. In life we need a little bad ass inside us to get things done! Thanks for the inspiration.

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      1. I’m humbled by your respect and admiration. But seriously, I don’t hold back, I only unleash. Great work, Andrew and I’m so happy to be a part of your badassery. Count me in anytime. :):)

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          1. I don’t believe in reincarnation and I didn’t believe in it the last time I was here but the next time I come back…my name is going to be Fancy and I’m going to spend most of my time being “nekked.” Remember?
            LOL

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              1. I have been accused of being “fancy” and “precious” and “pe-tite.” (That’s Southern for petite. LOL
                And…acutally…the other day, my plumber was telling me about some sort of problem that was going to require more time and more holes….I said “you know I have a gun.” He laughed and said “I can tell you’re a bad ass.”
                Isn’t that funny?

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                  1. I think it was more or less that he saw the tools I had and I actually understood the terminology he was using. I know how to turn the water off at the street and have my own key. He said he knows men who don’t have a clue about that. I told him I was married to a man like that…clueless…but then he had me to do everything.
                    Yep….in some ways I’m a bad ass….I had to take care of things and you can’t do that if you’re a wimp or are afraid to break a nail…and believe me…it hurts my feelings to break one of my fingernails but I have ripped them out of the beds before. 😦

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                    2. Most women don’t ever have to realize how strong they are. They actually have husbands who not only can do things…they are willing to…I mean Loser would sit there, while I took the garbage out. He DID mow the lawn for a few years and then turned it over to me. One day, he was sitting out by the pool, smoking, drinking beer and reading a book and my neighbor came over and said “how do you get away with this?” Loser said “hell, man. She likes it.”

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                    4. I had to…but you know…I am about as self-sufficient as they come so I should probably thank him for that.
                      I know my daughters have said they wished they had paid more attention to what I did. When they struck out on their own, they couldn’t even hang a curtain rod, let alone fix wiring or plumbing..or a leaky roof. Fortunately, they have husbands who are handy and even help with the children! They scored! LOL
                      I love being independent and not having to depend on a man to do things for me. I can even change the oil in my car.

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                    6. There was a saying in our house….if somebody did or said something to one of my children, the others (and even Loser) would say “do they know who your mom is?” Everybody knew that you didn’t fuck with my children or you were going to hear their mama roar. I guess that makes me a badass, doesn’t it?
                      Ah….I miss those days.

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  13. Challenge accepted! I will handle you just fine… come on over and I’ll prove it. Ding walk to too fast… I have to grab your ass as you walk by… and whatever else I want to grab. Oh and of course, I’ll blow your…. mind. 😇

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  16. Do I have to tell you how this makes me tingle? Do I need to put into words how my imagination bloomed with the imagery of exploring every surface, wall and alleyway? Shall I describe how I would do everything possible to make sure you would have no choice but to kiss me, touch me and claim me because I would have driven you to the brink of sanity? Do you realize I liked this? 💋

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      1. Seriously, do you doubt it, even for a second? Your words evoke all manner of emotions, feelings and sensations.
        My favorite part was the part that is YOU. Being able to peek into your mind, your desires and your fantasies only leaves me craving more.
        And, the part that left me dreaming, imagining and desiring to continue the story in my own mind. You painted such a beautifully wicked scene, that it lead me into my own badassery, and that is a GOOD THING. Hence, me continuing into the alleyway, public bathroom, city park, car, movie theater, garden, tent,……. xoxoxo

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  21. nice, I like the honesty here, good one :). I think most men would be pleasantly surprised (or terrified) at just how “badass” we seemly quiet ladylike types can be when the mood and man is right! nothing as good as wild and crazy sex with a man who knows what he is doing but who also is respectful and caring!! love your writing and good for you for being willing to admit to and share your badassness! Michelle

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    1. Laughing. Most men are terrified of stron women, of a woman who make more money, or a woman unafraid to ask for what she wants. Young men no longer know how to woo a woman unless it is by text. I can go on and on. I am a softie. Pro woman. I consider myself Bad Boy Lite if there is such a thing. Thanks for reading.

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  22. I love your response to my bad girl! 🙂 I love your wife’s dress. She looks awesome. I like that you used free verse for this. Excellent choice! Your bad boy wont be restrained! (Unlike my bad girl) 😉 well done!

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                    2. I am glad to hear that I am not alone in posts vanishing from the reader. I usually check too, especially when I notice that I have scrolled through 24 hours of posts in the reader and A blogger is absent.

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                    3. It is hard. I make an honest effort to try to follow everyone who follows me. If people take the time to read my work, it is the least I can do. BUt, when you have too many, it gets hard to realize WordPress accidentally dropped someone. Don’t worry, Ihave you oon my radar. I want to read your fiction as well as your poetry.

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                    4. Thank you 🙂 I only read people whose blogs interest me or who I have an ongoing relationship with–meaning we have exchanged comments. I don’t follow strangers. 🙂 We’ll see if the fiction is to your liking. I write fantasy and sci-fi. I get enough reality at my demanding day job (IT project manager).

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                    5. Understood. Life is hard enough. Our writing/reading is to escape. I love sci-fi. My manuscripts/screenplays are sci-fi and thrillers. (As for the blogs I have 1300 followers. Many are faithful, so I feel oligated to do the same). I will read your stuff faithfully, when are you posting fiction?

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                    7. Not paid. I converted my unpublished manusciprs into screenplays in hopes of opening more doors. I am a dreamer, so I cling to the dream of best seller lists and the big screen. I knew you would agree with faithful. Loyalty is big for you and me.

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  23. That was fun to read. I’m picturing the Lonely CHIMP as a bad a_ _. I may have to wear sunglasses and turn the base up when I read your works in the future. Heck, I may even lower my pants to the mid thigh position (as I emulate the youth of society) to appreciate the words more thoroughly. 😀

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  24. It’s a shame that men only think that “bad-ass” girls are the ones with breast implants…oh well! I’ve been fighting that nonsense all of my life, and I’m not about to stop now!
    😀

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    1. Well, you’re talking about empty headed boys that never matured. Badass girls are confident. Their confidence is sexy. Men nowadays are mature. So many of them hide behind their cell phone texts and their playstations. Thanks for stopping by. Keep fighting.

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  25. Andrew!! I love this! 😀 Do you have any single chimp, I mean male friends that would be interested in a woman, working on her MBA, loves the beach, spends time with friends and family, goes paintballing, goes on road trips, is up for trying new things, building forts, and oh, loves sex!?!!

    Seriously, I was born in the wrong generation! haha! Guys these days would rather play video games than ‘have fun’…I don’t get it. Literally, I was dressed in a similar outfit your wife is wearing in the photo, and the dude wouldn’t even pause his game. What a weirdo, huh?

    Your wife, Allie, looks confident and stunning! I am sure you two compliment one another very well! 🙂 The badass duo!

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    1. Haha No, no single Chimps. I agree with you about today’s men. They’re too busy with video games and their cell phones. They don’t even how to woo a woman. It is depressing. Thanks for the compliemtns for Allie. I will relay your message. Haha Badass duo?? Funny.

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  28. “Badassery” well done! Ha, especially since you feel it’s not in your comfort zone, always good to take a walk on the wild side! A pleasure to read, well penned with some humor! Take care, enjoy the week. ~ Mia

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