Asylum

Published on by thelonelyauthorblog

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Wearing his white lab coat, Sam made his usual rounds. Peeking into the first room, he sighed. “Simon, how many times have I told you we don’t finger paint with feces?”

Covered in human waste, heavy set Simon looked up from his place on the floor. Adjusting the glasses on the bridge of his nose, he left a foul chocolate trail. “Dr. Barker, it stinks in here.”

Resisting the urge to say no shit, Sam Barker groaned, “These kooks will drive me crazy.”

Where were the attendants when you needed them?  Controlling his frustrations, he continued down the hallway.

Years slaving in this morose dead end asylum? Why didn’t he listen to his mother? He could have been a dentist.

“Mrs. Bradford, what have I told you about chewing your toe nails?”

Looking up, the old fossil of a woman with layers of old make-up adjusted a raggedy scarf she believe to be a mink stole. “A dignified lady will never dine at the finest cuisine with nasty toe nails.”

Before Sam could respond he noticed Mad Max tapping his forehead against a wall.

“Hey, Max. More headaches?”

“Doc, it’s killing me.”

Sam grabbed him by the shoulders and slowly turned him around until Max leaned against the wall. “How is that?”

Max continued his nervous nod. “You are the miracle man.”

A nurse interrupted. “Sam.”

“My name is Dr. Barker?” Irritated, Sam glared at her and the two large attendants behind her. “And you two need to clean up Simon.”

Petite nurse cleared her throat. “It’s medication time.”

“Make sure you give Simon an extra dose.”

She held out a paper cup.

Looking at the cup, Sam twitched. “Doctors don’t take medication.”

Before anyone could move, Sam raced frantically down the hall yelling, “I am a doctor not a patient. I am a doctor not a patient.”

204 thoughts on “Asylum”

  12. Oooh I liked this. It’s sad but also hilarious. But also sad. I want to know more about Sam (Dr Barker, I should say). Is there any more? Or was he just passing through to say hello 🙂

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  13. Now you’ve got me wondering whether he was, or not….there were a number of Alfred Hitchcock or Twilight Zone episodes that played on this theme. The sad fact is that many who are the “keepers” are severely disturbed, or just plain immoral. Having spent some time as a psych patient, I’ve had personal experiences that now make me think, “Seriously??” Well, we’ve made it to the middle of the week–hope things are going stupendously for you 🙂

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    1. I need to find those Hitchcock episodes. I admire his work. The man was a genius. Happy to rad your comments, especially since I wanted to leave it in the air about his being a doctor or patient. I believe like you said, many “keepers” are severly disturbed with time. Thanks for reading and your great insight. Have a good day.

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      1. Never knew what to think about writing something that freaked me out. On one hand, it means the readers have a higher chance of feeling the eeriness. On the other hand, I would need to sleep again at some point.

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    1. Lauhging. Poop painting can be an attention grabber. You know the photo spooked the crap out of me. I tried to write something as creepy, but I couldn’t. It became too disturbing so I rewrote it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

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  32. Very clever. I saw a movie years ago called, “Don’t look down in the basement.” It was about a nurse assigned to an insane asylum where the real doctor was tied up in the basement and the institution was being handled by a patient assuming the role as doctor. Scary as all get up!

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  38. This is why with love the Lonely Author at Gastradamus. He writes organically and with style, he’s not afraid to write about crap. If you have the chance, please check out our new story at Gastradamus called, “The Bald and the Brestless”.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words. I have a question for you. I followed your blog, but did not recieve an email of your post. Your blog is entertaining. I want to read more so I may have to readjust my settings. Thanks for your kind words.

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        1. Sure will. Post regular posts with good content and you will see how it will explode. I started blogging in the fall, and I am over 1400 followers. Be a good blogger follow your followers and post good content. They will come to you.

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  40. What a creepy ending! What if he really is the doctor and the nurse has gone mad? Or he really is the doctor but had a mental breakdown? Or he somehow ended in Hell, and the asylum is his punishment? Yikes, all round!

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      1. The dark side agrees with it. It’s not all sunshine & roses for any of us. This was really good!

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      1. You’re very welcome! No, me, lol. My name is used in a novel by international author Claude Bouchard titled “Asylum”. He’s a good friend and when he was writing the book, he asked who wanted to be in it 🙂 It’s a great read 🙂

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  49. I actually met someone like him when I visited an asylum doing field research for my bachelors in psychology. A well dressed man who said he was a doctor assisting with the therapy. The real doctors told me he was a patient later. It’s sad though, thinking about it now. I no longer believe in the whole ‘asylum approach’. I think that incident, coupled with my own struggle with depression, and a few other disturbing cases of broken self-esteem changed my way of thinking.

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    1. Wow, what an interesting comment. When I wrote it I wondered if anyone in an asylum ever thought of themselves as a doctor there. I wanted to leave this story a little open to interpretation. Was he a doctor or patient? Or was the nurse a patient? Also, was he a doctor he turned mad from being around all of these xrazies. Thank you for taking the time to stop by to read and comment. I appreciate that. I agree with you about questioning the asylum approach. I don’t think that can be very effective.

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    1. I tried. Thanks for saying that about the description. You know how I fret over word count, so my descriptions are always bare. I will be trying to continue to write short stories. It is so new to me. I want to find time to see old episodes of Alfred Hitchcock and the Twlight Zone to get inspired. Those are the types of shorts I would love to write. Thanks for your encouraging words. They mean a lot.

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      1. Don’t sacrifice description for brevity, Andrew. Even in a short piece, there has to be enough for the reader to form a mental image of place. I think you struck a nice balance with this story. You provided just enough description that I could visualize the asylum and its occupants. Well done, my friend.

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          1. You’re doing really well, Andrew. What I do when writing a short piece, is write it like I want to, then go back and start cutting out non-essential words and phrases until I get it to the word count I’m aiming for. You would be surprised how many superfluous words one can cut and still not effect story.

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            1. I have never been a short story writer. Now, I realize I have taken the wrong tactic of trying to keep it brief as I write. As you say, I just need to write my story as I do my novels then go back and edit. Thanks. Silly as it may sound it never occurred to me to do that. Thanks

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