live love laugh

live love laugh

The results are in.

Basically, parts of my heart are not functioning as they should, forcing the rest of my heart to work harder.

The cardiologist confirmed my primary doctor’s findings, I probably suffered two heartaches in December.

My doctor wants me to undergo a procedure (in April) that should stimulate and revive these slacking walls. THE DOCTOR COULD NOT GUARANTEE this procedure will be successful. He also informed me that out of 1,000 hearts in the conditions that mine is currently in, 1 will not survive the surgery.

He also stated WITHOUT THE PROCEDURE parts of my heart will totally stop functioning within two to three years.

Doc wants me to rest and build up my strength for this procedure, but this time I will not go it alone. My intention is to continue blogging. I will read and approve the 700+ comments that are pending and start fresh. Sorry that my energy levels aren’t where they should be.

My final decision was to have the procedure in April.

And no matter what happens………….I will live, love, laugh. That has always been my philosophy. Why stop now?

Thank you or all of your support.

My heart and I are humbled and grateful.

fingers crossed

fingers crossed

No poetry.

Today, I see my cardiologist to discuss my latest test results. My blood pressure has been steady. I hope last weeks tests will prompt a change in the medications I have been prescribed. The severe headaches make blogging (staring at a screen) and life unbearable.

Two weeks ago, one of my six pills was eliminated. Since then, the dizzy spells have ceased. I hope another reduction of pills will get me back to my old self.

Tomorrow, I will post an update on today’s appointment.

After the reduction of that one pill, the dizzy spells have gone away. My doctor approved a short weekend trip to the Dominican Republic to baptize little Axel. My Thursday post, like today’s and Tuesday’s posts, will be comments closed in order that I work on the backlog (700+) of comments awaiting a response.

Thank you for all of your support. It kept me going when I was ready to give up.

Have a beautiful week.

this love

Struggling with words and thoughts….

Not sure if this is a poem or just me thinking out loud….

this love

wrinkled silk sheets
forming illusions of endless waves
in a haunting sea
of unrequited love and melancholy
eternal evenings
searching for you in every sunset
longing to admire your twilight
as we lay on a beach
bodies submerged in wet sand
my lips sinking in you
oh, mi amor
there are flowers
unaffected by time or storm
refusing to wither
like this love I feel for you

To be honest, I choose this image because her lipstick is driving me absolutely insane. (Yes, a sign that I am feeling better).

Happy Valentine’s Day.

A Lonely Comeback

A Lonely Comeback

Sorry, I have been gone for so long. Feeling a bit better. Relieved that the meds and rest are working.

The second and third opinions of two cardiologists provided hope. They both feel the first doctor overreacted.

What has kept me from blogging are the powerful meds the original doctor prescribed. Six different pills cause awful side affects (severe headaches, dizziness, some confusion). The side affects have been overwhelming.

On Wednesday, I have two important tests to pass. Good results will lead to my meds being removed or reduced.

My old time followers know this special lady. Ally flew down from New York for ten days to drive me to important appointments. My daughter also flew down three times in the past 2 month.

Fighting with doctors, I was finally granted approval to resume light exercise. This is my view as I walk laps around the lake behind my apartment complex. That stunning sunset accompanied me one night.

Haven’t made any attempts to write. So, I will be rusty. Perhaps the sunsets will help me find my creative mojo.

I will try to touch all of you during this week.

Have a good one.

masquerade

Thank you for all of the beautiful messages of concern. They warm my battered heart. I will be responding to every single one of them.

After weeks of life threatening blood pressure levels, we finally have it down to near normal levels. Now, we begin the process of repairing my heart.

When I first returned to Florida, I purchased a ticket to a New Years Eve Masquerade ball. Tonight, I will sit at the bar DRINKING WATER, watching OTHERS DANCE, as I welcome in the New Year in a room of masked strangers.

masquerade

chilly winds of melancholy
blew memories through my window
inducing a crescendo of shivers
waltzing on my flesh
haunting players of unrequited love
perform in this lonely masquerade
a sadistic, nightmare revue
as my mirror reflects
a face cloaked in smiles and laughs
failing to mask the pain
of another year without you

Happy and healthy 2020.

the longest journey

There’s more to life than being a passenger.” – Amelia Earhart, aviation pioneer, author, visiting faculty member at Perdue University, the first female aviator to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean.

Prior to starting my Inspiring Women of WordPress series, I mentioned my dear friend Maria Elena of A Gypsy At Heart. Since today is my travel day, I wanted to introduce her once again. What can I say about a woman who has a gypsy heart and the soul of an angel? She inspires me with her beautiful journeys to far off lands. All the while, she enchants you with her sincerity and warmth. She may take you to the far corners of the Earth, but I assure you, you will never be far from her heart. Please get inspired by the brilliance of A Gypsy at Heart.

the longest journey

My three month journey has finally come to an end.

I never thought I could be away from home for so long.

It was three months of admiring the immense sea. Thinking of past lovers and the one I have yet to meet.

I questioned my life and my purpose.

Maybe, my purpose is to be alone. This way I can help more women, instead of just one; and fulfill that promise I made when I failed my abused mother.

I still haven’t found all of the answers I seek.

But for some strange reason, which I can’t explain, my head and heart are finally in sync.

“Sometimes the longest journey we make is the sixteen inches from our heads to our hearts.” – Elena Avila

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Photo taken by me this past Monday.

an imperfect flower (For All Women)

Real beauty is in the fragility of your petals. A rose that never wilts isn’t a rose at all.” – Crystal Woods, author, stage coach, pro bikini athlete, child abuse advocate.

When I think of this Inspiring Woman of WordPress , I think of delicate flowers. As a little girl, she admired the prairies. As a young woman she overcame adversity and bloomed into a Costume Designer dressing the stars of film & television. That is the inspiring story of my precious friend Resa at Art Gowns. To see videos of her stunning creations click here. Her beautiful sketches & sweet personality always touches my soul. Resa doesn’t make gowns, she creates wearable poetry.


an imperfect flower

an imperfect flower
grows in a flawless garden
forever afraid to bloom
ashamed of her weather-beaten stem
and frail leaves
she fails to understand
her damaged petals
are what makes her beautiful
to me