fingers crossed

fingers crossed

No poetry.

Today, I see my cardiologist to discuss my latest test results. My blood pressure has been steady. I hope last weeks tests will prompt a change in the medications I have been prescribed. The severe headaches make blogging (staring at a screen) and life unbearable.

Two weeks ago, one of my six pills was eliminated. Since then, the dizzy spells have ceased. I hope another reduction of pills will get me back to my old self.

Tomorrow, I will post an update on today’s appointment.

After the reduction of that one pill, the dizzy spells have gone away. My doctor approved a short weekend trip to the Dominican Republic to baptize little Axel. My Thursday post, like today’s and Tuesday’s posts, will be comments closed in order that I work on the backlog (700+) of comments awaiting a response.

Thank you for all of your support. It kept me going when I was ready to give up.

Have a beautiful week.

this love

Struggling with words and thoughts….

Not sure if this is a poem or just me thinking out loud….

this love

wrinkled silk sheets
forming illusions of endless waves
in a haunting sea
of unrequited love and melancholy
eternal evenings
searching for you in every sunset
longing to admire your twilight
as we lay on a beach
bodies submerged in wet sand
my lips sinking in you
oh, mi amor
there are flowers
unaffected by time or storm
refusing to wither
like this love I feel for you

To be honest, I choose this image because her lipstick is driving me absolutely insane. (Yes, a sign that I am feeling better).

Happy Valentine’s Day.

masquerade

Thank you for all of the beautiful messages of concern. They warm my battered heart. I will be responding to every single one of them.

After weeks of life threatening blood pressure levels, we finally have it down to near normal levels. Now, we begin the process of repairing my heart.

When I first returned to Florida, I purchased a ticket to a New Years Eve Masquerade ball. Tonight, I will sit at the bar DRINKING WATER, watching OTHERS DANCE, as I welcome in the New Year in a room of masked strangers.

masquerade

chilly winds of melancholy
blew memories through my window
inducing a crescendo of shivers
waltzing on my flesh
haunting players of unrequited love
perform in this lonely masquerade
a sadistic, nightmare revue
as my mirror reflects
a face cloaked in smiles and laughs
failing to mask the pain
of another year without you

Happy and healthy 2020.

the longest journey

There’s more to life than being a passenger.” – Amelia Earhart, aviation pioneer, author, visiting faculty member at Perdue University, the first female aviator to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean.

Prior to starting my Inspiring Women of WordPress series, I mentioned my dear friend Maria Elena of A Gypsy At Heart. Since today is my travel day, I wanted to introduce her once again. What can I say about a woman who has a gypsy heart and the soul of an angel? She inspires me with her beautiful journeys to far off lands. All the while, she enchants you with her sincerity and warmth. She may take you to the far corners of the Earth, but I assure you, you will never be far from her heart. Please get inspired by the brilliance of A Gypsy at Heart.

the longest journey

My three month journey has finally come to an end.

I never thought I could be away from home for so long.

It was three months of admiring the immense sea. Thinking of past lovers and the one I have yet to meet.

I questioned my life and my purpose.

Maybe, my purpose is to be alone. This way I can help more women, instead of just one; and fulfill that promise I made when I failed my abused mother.

I still haven’t found all of the answers I seek.

But for some strange reason, which I can’t explain, my head and heart are finally in sync.

“Sometimes the longest journey we make is the sixteen inches from our heads to our hearts.” – Elena Avila

.

.

Photo taken by me this past Monday.

an imperfect flower (For All Women)

Real beauty is in the fragility of your petals. A rose that never wilts isn’t a rose at all.” – Crystal Woods, author, stage coach, pro bikini athlete, child abuse advocate.

When I think of this Inspiring Woman of WordPress , I think of delicate flowers. As a little girl, she admired the prairies. As a young woman she overcame adversity and bloomed into a Costume Designer dressing the stars of film & television. That is the inspiring story of my precious friend Resa at Art Gowns. To see videos of her stunning creations click here. Her beautiful sketches & sweet personality always touches my soul. Resa doesn’t make gowns, she creates wearable poetry.


an imperfect flower

an imperfect flower
grows in a flawless garden
forever afraid to bloom
ashamed of her weather-beaten stem
and frail leaves
she fails to understand
her damaged petals
are what makes her beautiful
to me

Pain Goes In, Love Comes Out

“Turn your wounds into wisdom.” ― Oprah Winfrey, media executive, actress, talk show host, television producer and philanthropist.

My dear friend Alyssa at Fightmsdaily is an amazing example of a person who turns pain into positive vibes. Even as she battles the pains and challenges of multiple sclerosis, she injects you with her warm personality and bright outlook; making her a perfect example of hope and kindness. Her Motivational Mondays & Pick Me Up Thursday are the perfect way to start/survive the week. Need a dose of inspiration? Visit one of the Inspiring Women of WordPress at Fightmsdaily.


As you can see I am taking this celebration of women seriously, so here it is, confession time.

Pain Goes In, Love Comes Out

On January 21, 2013, I slipped and fell down a flight of stairs.

Intense pain has accompanied me every second of my life for almost 7 years. Surgery corrected some of my injuries, but did not reduce the pain. I’m not interested in the prescriptions to opiates and morphine injections doctors have offered.

Pain has become as natural as breathing.

Like you, the people I meet have no idea I am suffering. I have no limp, cane, or visible marking to advise them.

I still run, play beach volleyball, dance, workout at the gym, and on occasion chase women (just don’t catch them anymore). LOL

Blogging has served as my therapy.  Don’t know how many times my cheeks were moist with tears as you and I laugh at one of my silly comments. Or as I read your inspiring posts. You are my pain relief.

Perception is the key to life. I cherish the memories of the painless years. I am grateful I didn’t end up in a wheelchair. Even with this eternal aching, I consider myself a lucky man.

My friends ask me, how do I deal with the pain?  How do I remain calm, happy, smiling, and caring through this pain? Why do I bother trying to inspire others?

Pain goes in, love comes out.

If you don’t mind, I will keep comments closed on this post. I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me and I definitely don’t want to spend the next two weeks replying to comments reminding me of this torment. Thank you for your warm and caring wishes. xo

the promise of your dawn

“There are two ways of spreading light. To be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it.” – Edith Wharton, novelist, playwright, first woman to win the Pulitzer Prize for Literature .

I always thought of my friend Miriam of Out an’ About as an inspiring ray of light. She takes you on adventures highlighting stunning Australian landcapes while sharing a piece of her caring soul. Her journeys of gratitude, love, and family, leave you cherishing every moment. I’ll never forget how just a few years ago, during sad moments of family loss, her warmth, wisdom, and love still shined through all the darkness. She inspires people to be the best they can be. Visit Out an’ About. Bask in the glow of one of the Inspiring Women of WordPress.


We now return to our regularly scheduled programming…..love.

the promise of your dawn

we made love on a beach
to a serenade of palm leaves
as moon glow illuminated the night
or was it the brilliance of your eyes
i remember your jasmine lips
tasting of honey and eternity
shooting stars came in waves
our inhibitions drowned in open seas
that night as you slept in my arms
i traced sunsets in your hair
in hopes of awakening
to the promise of your dawn