Thank you for all of the beautiful messages of concern. They warm my battered heart. I will be responding to every single one of them.
After weeks of life threatening blood pressure levels, we finally have it down to near normal levels. Now, we begin the process of repairing my heart.
When I first returned to Florida, I purchased a ticket to a New Years Eve Masquerade ball. Tonight, I will sit at the bar DRINKING WATER, watching OTHERS DANCE, as I welcome in the New Year in a room of masked strangers.
chilly winds of melancholy blew memories through my window inducing a crescendo of shivers waltzing on my flesh haunting players of unrequited love perform in this lonely masquerade a sadistic, nightmare revue as my mirror reflects a face cloaked in smiles and laughs failing to mask the pain of another year without you
Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season.
I will be brief.
During the past two years, I made 4 trips to the Dominican Republic to purchase strong pain killers that alleviate my back pain. Pills with dangerous side affects.
Since my return to Florida, I have felt lethargic, suffered constant headaches and dizzy spells as my blood pressure skyrocketed. Things that a man of my age shouldn’t be feeling.
Doctors have discovered several unhealthy changes in my heart (which they describe as “severely life threatening“). Emergency surgery is very possible, but I won’t know until more tests are run over the next two weeks.
During the next couple of months, I will be in blogging-lite mode as I try to regain my health and strength. I won’t be posting every week, but I will read blogs to stay in touch with all of my friends.
Your support and words have always filled my heart with joy. At some point in the future I hope to continue My Inspiring Women of WordPress.
Thank you for your understanding.
Trust me, your friendship and inspiration has been missed.
Hopefully, through your words, I can rediscover my creative mojo.
“There’s more to life than being a passenger.” – Amelia Earhart, aviation pioneer, author, visiting faculty member at Perdue University, the first female aviator to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean.
Prior to starting my Inspiring Women of WordPress series, I mentioned my dear friend Maria Elena of A Gypsy At Heart. Since today is my travel day, I wanted to introduce her once again. What can I say about a woman who has a gypsy heart and the soul of an angel? She inspires me with her beautiful journeys to far off lands. All the while, she enchants you with her sincerity and warmth. She may take you to the far corners of the Earth, but I assure you, you will never be far from her heart. Please get inspired by the brilliance of A Gypsy at Heart.
the longest journey
My three month journey has finally come to an end.
I never thought I could be away from home for so long.
It was three months of admiring the immense sea. Thinking of past lovers and the one I have yet to meet.
I questioned my life and my purpose.
Maybe, my purpose is to be alone. This way I can help more women, instead of just one; and fulfill that promise I made when I failed my abused mother.
I still haven’t found all of the answers I seek.
But for some strange reason, which I can’t explain, my head and heart are finally in sync.
“Sometimes the longest journey we make is the sixteen inches from our heads to our hearts.” – Elena Avila
“Real beauty is in the fragility of your petals. A rose that never wilts isn’t a rose at all.” – Crystal Woods, author, stage coach, pro bikini athlete, child abuse advocate.
When I think of this Inspiring Woman of WordPress , I think of delicate flowers. As a little girl, she admired the prairies. As a young woman she overcame adversity and bloomed into a Costume Designer dressing the stars of film & television. That is the inspiring story of my precious friend Resa at Art Gowns. To see videos of her stunning creations click here. Her beautiful sketches & sweet personality always touches my soul. Resa doesn’t make gowns, she creates wearable poetry.
an imperfect flower
an imperfect flower
grows in a flawless garden
forever afraid to bloom
ashamed of her weather-beaten stem
and frail leaves
she fails to understand
her damaged petals
are what makes her beautiful
“Turn your wounds into wisdom.” ― Oprah Winfrey, media executive, actress, talk show host, television producer and philanthropist.
My dear friend Alyssa at Fightmsdaily is an amazing example of a person who turns pain into positive vibes. Even as she battles the pains and challenges of multiple sclerosis, she injects you with her warm personality and bright outlook; making her a perfect example of hope and kindness. Her Motivational Mondays & Pick Me Up Thursday are the perfect way to start/survive the week. Need a dose of inspiration? Visit one of the Inspiring Women of WordPress at Fightmsdaily.
As you can see I am taking this celebration of women seriously, so here it is, confession time.
Pain Goes In, Love Comes Out
On January 21, 2013, I slipped and fell down a flight of stairs.
Intense pain has accompanied me every second of my life for almost 7 years. Surgery corrected some of my injuries, but did not reduce the pain. I’m not interested in the prescriptions to opiates and morphine injections doctors have offered.
Pain has become as natural as breathing.
Like you, the people I meet have no idea I am suffering. I have no limp, cane, or visible marking to advise them.
I still run, play beach volleyball, dance, workout at the gym, and on occasion chase women (just don’t catch them anymore). LOL
Blogging has served as my therapy. Don’t know how many times my cheeks were moist with tears as you and I laugh at one of my silly comments. Or as I read your inspiring posts. You are my pain relief.
Perception is the key to life. I cherish the memories of the painless years. I am grateful I didn’t end up in a wheelchair. Even with this eternal aching, I consider myself a lucky man.
My friends ask me, how do I deal with the pain? How do I remain calm, happy, smiling, and caring through this pain? Why do I bother trying to inspire others?
Pain goes in, love comes out.
If you don’t mind, I will keep comments closed on this post. I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me and I definitely don’t want to spend the next two weeks replying to comments reminding me of this torment. Thank you for your warm and caring wishes. xo