Lonely Author has caught some grief over his guide for communicating with women. Hey, people I am a lover not a fighter. In my continued efforts to promote peace and harmony between the sexes I will decode Men/Women English.
But first, to prove he is a lover and not a fighter, here is an excerpt of his pillow talk from last night:
Lonely Author: “Honey, I want to make love to you badly.” Mrs. Lonely Author: “Well, at least you don’t overestimate yourself.”
Okay, plain and simple (like my donuts) decoding Men/Women English.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN’S ENGLISH:
* Yes……………………………….No
* No………………………………..Yes
* Maybe……………………………No
* We need………………………….I want
* I am sorry………………………..You’ll be sorry
* We need to talk………………….You’re in trouble
* Sure, go ahead……………………You better not
* Do what you want……………….You will pay for this later
* I am not upset……………………Of course, I am upset, you moron!
* You’re attentive tonight…………Is sex all you ever think about?
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN’S ENGLISH:
* I am hungry………………………I am hungry
* I am sleepy……………………….I am sleepy
* I am tired…………………………I am tired
* Nice dress…………………………Nice cleavage!
* I love you…………………………Let’s have sex now
* I am bored………………………..Do you want to have sex?
* May I have this dance?………………I’d like to have sex with you.
* Can I call you sometime?…………..I’d like to have sex with you.
* Do you want to go to a movie?……I’d like to have sex with you.
* Can I take you out to dinner?……..I’d like to have sex with you.
* I don’t think those shoes go with that outfit…………..I’m gay
Have a wonderful week.
Keep smiling.
Keep writing.
The Lonely Author 