Don Luccini’s Daughter
A man in control of his universe, Don Gino Luccini’s accent caressed every syllable, “Why are you here?”
Ray Gamba admired Sofia Luccini’s portrait. “To bring this killer to justice.”
“Forget justice.” The angry Mafioso smirked. “Bring him to me.”
Gamba squirmed. The alluring young lady in the painting appears to look back at him.
“I will pay you handsomely for delivering Sofia’s killer.”
“Forget your dirty money,” he cursed. Luccini would never understand I loved his daughter.
“Detective, you have no idea how I feel.”
Gamba sighed, if you only knew how I feel after accidentally shooting your daughter.
Photo taken from Google Images.
Always a twist!
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I am kinda like a pretzel.
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WOW!! That was FUCKING AMAZING!! Actually caught my breath at the end. MAGNIFICENT!! XOXOXO
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So happy you enjoyed this. I have wanted to post a mobster story since I started blogging. Then, it suddenly came tome last night,
WOw you response thrilled me. You appeared to really enjoy this.
Thank you for all ofyour wonderful support. I appreciate it. And I will never forgetit either. XOXOXOXO
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oh. wow! what a twist!!! Great, Andrew! So great!
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Thank you. I appreciate your comments. And thanks for reading.
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it is always my pleasure, Andrew! 😉
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Awww
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😉
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Oh nice!
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Thank you. Appreciate it.
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Wow! Another bombshell. Love it!
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Thank you. You thrill me with your comments. Thanks so much.
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😸 Ha ha oh my oh my. What a twist!! You are so good with these twists in the end. Great job. I was curious to know more about these characters ! 😁
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You have made my day with your comments. For so long I wanted to write a gangster story, and I couldn’t think of anything. Then, it suddenly came to me last night, I am so happy you liked this. THank you so much.
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Wow! Seems Gamba has brought the killer to justice, if only Luccini knew. Sofia can decide, peering down with artist’s license on the men she loves.
Very clever, Andrew. I didn’t expect this end.
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Laughing. Gamba did bring the culrpit to justice. Happy you appreciated this.Forsolong I wanted to post a mobster story and couldnever come up with anything. Thak suddenly it hit me last night, Thank you.
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Ooh, that was unexpected! Excellent.
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Thank you. Happy you liked it. Gamba will be sleeping with the fishes.
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This gave me goosebumps.
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Thank you for saying that. I appreciate your wods. Thanks for reading.
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I love reading you, Jonathan. Don’t thank me.
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Well, that makes things a bit more complicated.
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Laughing. It sure does, doesn;tit. Thanks Charles.
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Reblogged this on Ancien Hippie.
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Thank you
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Thank you so much for the reblog.
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Oh my!
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Thank you for reading. Appreciate that.
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Interesting premise, my friend! I don’t see an easy resolution to this situation 🙂
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I think the Detective is screwed. lol Thank you for reading.
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Sounds like!
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niiiiice 🙂
Perfect ending – you set the scene up so calmly then WHAM! right between the eyes 🙂
I would have one suggestion, if I may – the last phrase:
“if you only knew how I feel after accidentally shooting your daughter.”
I would put in italics, since it is a thought….
just my opinion…
again – awesome write!
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LOL That is a great suggestion. After posting it I second guessed myself about not highlighting it. Thanks for the suggestion. Thrilled that you enjoyed this. Right between the eyes. lol Have a great day.
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I like it. I can see this making a good dramatic scene in a movie. I guess you’d need a voice over or something for the twist at the end, though.
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LOL You want to help me with the screenplay? Thank you so much for the ecrouagment.Delighted that you liked this. Thanks
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No problem. Perhaps I could get a credit in the opening titles. 🙂
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lol
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What?
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What what?
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Bless my heart….I didn’t get it. LOL
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LOL The Mobster wants to kill the person who murdered his daughter. The detective loved his daughter in secrecy, but her accidnetally shot her. So the mobster left him in charge of finding the murderer.
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Oh, shit. I kind of thought something like that but I wasn’t sure. Now…you should have included how he shot her…foreplay? LOL
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LOL Yeah, dangerous foreplay. lol
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Did you get my response?
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Iprobably did.. I am so far behind on comments.
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Damn, didn’t see that coming. Hopefully, Sofia didn’t either. Nice post!
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LOL Hopefully, she didn’t see it either. Thank you so much for taking the time out to read and comment.
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OH! Nice little tragic twist! Watch out detective…. 😦
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Soon, he will be sleeping with the fishes.
Thanks
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😃👍
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Ha! You did it, another wonderful spin Andrew! Love this. Wishing you a terrific day.
~ Mia
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I should have played The Godfather theme in the background. lol Happy you enjoyed it. Thanks you. Have a great day.
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Definitely! You’re welcome Andrew, and thank you.
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Wow…
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Thank you for reading.
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Bam!
That ending is, yeah, a true knuckle curve ball.
It was very creative. Great write man! Really, thoroughly enjoyed it.
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Thank you so much for your wonderful comments. Happy you enjoyed this. Thanks for reading.
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Ay! What a twist. I suppose he’s dead man walking now?
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Yeah, I think he is. Thank you for reading and for your comments. I appreciate it.
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Surprise ending, fabulous short story…wouldn’t mind reading an expansion of this!
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Smiling. It almost demands a continuation. Thank you for reading and for your kind words of encouragment.
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Really, it does! We want more.
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LOL. Thank you. I will try.
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Holy! oh…my…
The ending is wow!
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Haha thank you. I figured you would like this, Thanks,
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You welcome my friend.
Intense story and you always write from your heart and lay it on us readers with a thriller. 🙂
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Thank you for saying that. Appreciate it.
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You welcome my friend. 🙂
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Clever twist. I like it.
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Thank you so much for reading. Happy you enjoyed it. Thanks.
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woah, what a twist! Now you have to do a follow up and show us how the detective shot the woman he loves!
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Smiling. I am happy that you liked this little story. Thanks for your kind words.
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You’re welcome 🙂 I like your style
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Thanks
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Oh dear….
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Laughing. I wanted to do a gangster story for so gong. Thank you.
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🙂
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You do know how to do a twist! I can totally see this longer and noirish. Wonderful!
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Thank you. I appreciate that. You are too kind.
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Smiles. Welcome.
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Nice!! didn’t see that coming! Is there more to follow? 🙂
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A few people have asked for more. Will put my little brain to work. Thank you.
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Oh good, looking forward to it 🙂
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Whoa! The last line..didn’t see it coming…excellent!
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Thank you. Happy you enjoyed it.
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🙂 welcome…
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LOVED THIS! Felt like I just sat through a miniature Godfather episode, Andrew. Fantastic writing!
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LOL Thank you so much for this comment. It thrills me to read this. Thank you thank you thank you.
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It’s absolutely my pleasure. You have a real talent for creating a visual and making words come to life.
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Thank you so much for saying that.
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Great story – great twist! x
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Thank you
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That is not justice, your daughter is still alive
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LOL A line from the Godfather. Bravo.
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Bad ass piece
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LOL Someone will be sleeping with the fishes. Thanks
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Haha 😁
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oh my God !!how type is dt killer who demands portrait of his beloved sofhiya who is murderd by him .is he a phyco type killer or ur word”a man in control his universe ” is belonged from Diago Rivera ‘s painting (1934)or any historical event?plz reply.what is a alluring type- ur lines.i became as feard.suspensive bt beautyfully written .
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oh God !!how is dt guy who demands his beloved ‘s portrait who is murderd by him.is he a phyco type killer or ur lines”a man in control his universe” is belonged from Diago Rivera(1934)’s painting or any historical event?plz reply.what a alluring n suspensive lines u have written.
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VERRY Good, my Dear LA! …Very difficult to find works of a 100 words. …Reminds one of O’Henry! Kudos and Regards. 🙂
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Thank you so much for your kind words of support. I appreciate them. Be well.
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The Same to You, too! 🙂
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Thanks
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Well, this is quite the teaser. Are you going to take it farther, or will I have to supply my own version as to Ray’s fate?
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LOL No, I wrote this as a one shot deal. And Ray is about to get his shot. Feel free to continue this. Curious to see where you will go with it. Thank you.
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I have no idea…that’s why I asked you. 🙂
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LOL
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😊
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what a suspensive n tragic poem.
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Thank you. I appreciate that my friend.
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welcome dew.
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I tried to translate. You will see my comments.
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yeah.i m stoping hardly my laughing.u r right dear dew dt ur translater do not work well.now in morning,i will send its translation.okay.
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OKay. Thank you. hahaha
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Now u have english translation of my poem”what lost n whar got”.plz reply.
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I have translated dt poem.plz read it m reply.
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Layer upon layer, nicely weaved. Thats a real bind, being asked to find yourself essentially, with some consequences for failure I would assume.
Really tight short, scenes wkthin scenes.
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Happy you enjoyed this. I worked on it for quite a while. Yeah, the detective is in a no win situation. He will be sleeping with the fishes.
Thank you
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Indeed lol.
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Oh wow! Didn’t see that coming.
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Appreciate your reading this. Thanks so much.
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Unexpected twist here.
Nicely done.
At times I wasn’t sure who was speaking, though. Had to read it 3 times.
Pardon my wonky brain! 😁
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No, I should have been clearer with that. Thanks for leting me know. I appreciate it. Also, the final line was the main characters thoughts, I should have italicized that.
Thanks for reading and for your suggestions. Much appreciated.
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You’re welcome. Love your work. ☺
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Thanks so much.
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Oh my 😀 I love these kind of twists! Great story
Like how your mind works
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Haha I am laughing cause my mind can get a little crazy sometimes. I always wanted to do a gangster story. Happy you enjoyed. Thanks for reading.
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You’re welcome – keep the crazy coming 😀
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Thank you so much John
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