The Pharaoh’s Wife (100 word manuscript excerpt)

3933175692_41db7b9d14_z

.

The Pharaoh’s Wife

.

“Can love last forever?”

“How dare you ask me after I’ve watched my Aziza die one hundred deaths?”

Painful memories clicked through Amani’s mind like old time flicker films of the silent era, each heartbreaking recollection reopening ancient wounds.

Angelo interrupted, “I didn’t mean to…”

“I’ve watched her die at the hands of barbarians, disease, slave owners, and the Black Death.”

“Please stop.”

“Time can heal the wounded heart, but it can hurt the waiting heart.”

Hands aching from all of the times he’s buried Aziza, Amani sighed.

“Can love last forever?  Eternity wouldn’t be enough time to love her.”

.

.

Palace guard Amani is cursed to live forever when he is caught making love to the Pharaoh’s wife.  Millenniums later, he befriends Angelo, a cranky Vietnam veteran who searches for his long lost love.  Sharing the story of his five thousand year journey searching for his perpetually reincarnating twin flame, Amani the immortal, learns the true meaning of life from his dying friend.

Originally titled “The Pharaoh’s Wife,” my current manuscript (first draft) is the story of two men, an immortal and a dying man, sharing their tales of love and life.  I am considering “Eternity,” “Forever,” and “A Time For Us” as titles. Thus, it officially remains unnamed.

This manuscript, my notes. and outline, have been registered and are protected by the U.S. Copyright Office (within the Library of Congress). 

 

131 thoughts on “The Pharaoh’s Wife (100 word manuscript excerpt)

  1. It would be really be interesting to read the concepts of love and life from the two. The curse of living forever is really hard, he must be having so varied experiences of life.
    Loved the draft. Wanting to read more.

    Like

    1. Jaya thank you for your special words. Your support means a lot to me. Yes, Amani spends five thousand years searching for her, finding her, loving her, and then having to bury her. I think it is a story of timeless love. Kind of supporting my idea that love can be forever. (I hope you agree).

      Thank you so much for your kind words and support. You are a treasure.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Entanglement of souls lost in an eternal loop trying to reunite and sate their infinite love lest they they die without their missing piece.

    Perfection and a story that touches me deeply. Don’t stop..

    Very… ridiculously talented, Mr. Lonely author. But you knew that.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You made me smile so hard. Yes, imagine loving the same soul a hundred times through the ages. She has to be a special lady (sort of like Selene).
      Then, again, it would be so hard to have to bury her every time she dies. It would take a special soul to put up wit so much pain.

      Your last line made me laugh….ridiculously talented Silently Smouldering Words. (Damn, that didn’t have that same affect.)
      Oh, well, you know what the Beach Boy meant. Your visits are a treasure. (not like a buried treasure.) More like… oh you know what I mean.
      Thank you.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Wow, Drew! What a fantastic concept! Love the setting, the characters are already intriguing and the plotline you’ve shared is both novel and nuanced! Can’t wait to read it all!
    P.S – “perpetually reincarnating twin flame” 😍😍😍👏👏👏👏

    Liked by 2 people

                    1. These have to be some of the best words I have ever been told in regards to my work. I don’t know what to say.. To inspire people – that is true contentment to a writer. I am so happy! Thank-you very, very much Drew. 🙏

                      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh wow, that’s a great excerpt! I like the concept of your story as well. At first, it sounded a little cliche with Amani sleeping with the Pharoah’s Wife and all, but I liked the focus on the relationship between Amani and Angelo. Now THERE’S a friendship I’d love to explore and learn about.

    I see the dilemma with the titles. Will brainstorm on my end and share anything I might come up with.

    P.S. Love the photo you chose! Huge fan of The Mummy!

    Like

    1. Funny, you should say that about cliche. I have debated the same thing. It is so predictable, but when you see the whole context of this story
      it has to be written that way. Amani will be cursed to live forever and he will watch his twin flame die a thousand times. That painful event
      will propel this story.

      The story is about this growing friendship between this immortal and dying man. And how each learns from the other until Angelo’s death in the end.
      Very encouraged by your honest words and thoughts,

      I would appreciate any ideas/suggestions you have on the title. It would be helpful.
      Thank you for readin and sharing your opinion. It means a lot. It is helpful and encouraging. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Smiling. Thank you for your kind words.
      These characters and this story are nudging me everyday. They want their story to be told.
      And thanks for the suggestion. No one has really given me their thoughts on the title, so I really appreciate yours.
      I didn’t want to say anything, but I am leaning towards that title.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh most amazing story like something a hollywood movie”the mummy”.i am most impressed from dis Egyptian story.you have wonderfully written it.i think-you should give the name for title of this story-“love and eternity”.is it right name?dear dew!!

    Like

  6. This is fascinating. It would be interesting to read more excerpts if you decide to post( without giving away the plot, of course).

    By the way, my comments seem to have developed an affinity for your spam folder. The one on the previous post is lying there 🙂 I am not too sure of this one’s fate!

    Like

    1. Very happy that you think so. One night the idea came to me and I have been fascinated with the story myself.
      When I am working on it, it is not work. Sheer fun and magic.

      I have your comment in my folder. When I returned from Cancun I got sick from the cooler weather here in New York.
      I havew about 250 comments piled up waiting for a response. I will be getting to it shortly.
      Sorry, about the delay, I was sick as a dog. Thank you for your kind word and support.
      They are so appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. My Dear Drew,

    This is an enchanting excerpt. I really enjoy it!

    From your description of the book you have a winner here ” Amani the immortal, learns the true meaning of life from his dying friend.” That is a killer! We tend to think that if one lives more, one learns more. I can’t wait to read further and see how your talent disproves this common assumption.

    Now, to the excerpt: one of the golden lines is: “I’ve watched her die at the hands of barbarians, disease, slave owners, and the Black Death.” The specificity of your imagery here is breathtaking. I know most people tent to respond better to ” Can love last forever?” I respect that. However, I am not going to comment on yet. I need to read more excerpts to be able to do so.

    Another golden line, philosophical in essence “Time can heal the wounded heart, but it can hurt the waiting heart.” Bingo, Drew! Absolutely fantastic!

    The excerpt is really beautiful! The general theme is a winner, so I can’t wait to read your novel. I can’t wait for your talent Drew to convince me that: “Eternity wouldn’t be enough time to love her.” 🙂

    Bravo, my friend!
    You made my day with this little piece!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good afternoon G. Totally speechless.
      I completely agree with you on the focus not being on “Can love last forever?” That was merely the vehicle to drive his reaction.

      It is the aching of his hands from burying her so many times and his descriptions of her deaths, The way time healed him, then hurt him anew.

      Smiling. You have much faith in me.

      G, you made my day. I will be glowing for the rest of the day. Humbled. Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Drew, you already convinced me that your novel will be great. I do have faith in you. Great work!You have plenty of talent!
        Now, the questions is do you have enough Bustelo to finish? 🙂 🙂 🙂
        Have a great afternoon, my friend!
        Take good care of you!

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.