Friends on occasion ask me, Lonely Author do you penchant poetry? Yes, people close to me use the word penchant. That demonstrates I don’t monkey around when it comes to deciding who I let into my inner circle.
After journeying through the blogosphere and reading the intriguing works of many a poet and poetess, I am inspired to dabble in poetic verse or two.
I hope I inspire you as well. (And I don’t mean to quit writing.)
50 Shades of Black and Blue
By Lonely Author
She beat me to a pulp
that’s what sadists do
kicked me over and over
til I was 50 shades of black and blue
She hit me with a bat
slammed against the window sill
oh the excruciating pain
she showed me my cable bill
Poked me in the eye
smashed my little toe
stomped on my fingers
all to prevent me from writing prose
Have a wonderful week. Hope I made you smile.
Who is she?
LikeLiked by 2 people
LOL My crazy imagination.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Ouch!!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
😜
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just me being silly
LikeLiked by 1 person
Super!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
“Goodnight, sleep tight.
Don’t let the bed bugs bite.
If they do,
take a shoe,
and beat them until they’re black and blue.”
You reminded me of this.
LikeLiked by 7 people
LOL Is that something you wrote?
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, unfortunately my poetry only consist of the debaucherous type.
“Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
His cock taste of ambrosia,
and his sweat ridden balls do too.”
: )
LikeLiked by 5 people
You are too much. That reminds me, I need to read more of your stuff. LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
OH NO! Me, too much? Nooooooo. Thanks for reading my psychobabble. Always appreciated.
LikeLiked by 2 people
My pleasure
LikeLiked by 1 person
Humour in poetry…lethal mix
LikeLiked by 3 people
What can I say? I am a sick puppy…er…monkey
LikeLiked by 1 person
Both clever and cute; well done.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks. I just wanted everyone to start the week with a smile.
LikeLiked by 1 person
she must be writer’s block
LikeLiked by 2 people
LOL
LikeLike
Bet a poked eye, smashed toes, and stomped fingers won’t keep you down!
LikeLiked by 2 people
You are too much. Thanks. We have to keep writing. Hope you are well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am, thank you. 🙂 Nothing poked, smashed, or stomped. Yet.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL Thanks for stopping by. Anxiously awaiting your next post.
LikeLike
Hehe, best not to. It won’t be until next Monday. Taking a week off to get things ready for my book’s upcoming release. And I’m just feeling lazy…
LikeLiked by 1 person
It must be so nervous as you get closer to the date. I have your book on my list. Best of luck.
LikeLike
Thank you! I appreciate that very much. The positive early praise the book has received helps lessen my nerves. Most of my nerves are now directed at the face-to-face marketing. I have a book signing set up and my publisher will work on scheduling more. That’s what really makes my knees wobble.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It all sounds so exciting. Keep us posted on your endeavors.
LikeLike
Thank you. I will. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha!
LikeLiked by 2 people
That is what I was hoping for. Smiles
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ouch hope you’ve recovered! An author’s life sure sounds tough.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, I have. LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good to hear!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. Smiles.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha.
LikeLiked by 2 people
That was the reaction I was hoping for. I take my writing journey seriously, but we have to take a moment to enjoy the trip.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agreed!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, you made me smile and managed to elicit a chuckle too.:0)
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great. Mission accomplished. Life is too short. We need to stop and enjoy the journey.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And stay away from mean women…;-)
LikeLiked by 1 person
lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
Smiling
LikeLiked by 2 people
That was the idea. Thanks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hilarious! Someone needs a belt of anger management tools…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Anger management, lol, Hey, thanks for stopping by.
LikeLike
Ouch!!! Lol…A very good imagination you have there! 😛
I enjoy reading your blog,and want to nominate you for the Liebster award.:D
For details please refer…
https://sabahbatul786.wordpress.com/2015/10/26/liebster-award/
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi, I am flattered by your gesture. I feel very awkward being nominated for any award since I just started blogging a month ago. I think it would be unfair to the many talented people who have been blogging for so long. Thank you so much for thinking of me. Like I said I am very flattered, but at this time, I don’t think I deserve it. From the bottom of my heart, thanks so much.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You deserve it, but be warned–it will cut into your writing time. When I recieved the Liebster award, It took a couple of days (probably more) to get it all together. Then I was nominated for another award, then another, and yet another. I finally had to quit accepting them. For a while, I put a big thingy on my blog stating it was an award free blog, and also deleted the posts I had written, which comes with accepting the award. I felt honored, but honestly, I needed the time spent accepting awards for my own writing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, I started blogging a month ago. I am sure there are more worthy bloggers that me. Thanks so much for saying it, but honestly, this monkey is very goals orientated, and the purpose of my blog was to 1) get published 2) network 3) be inspired by authors 4) learn from more experienced authors 5) have some fun. Sure, it would be nice to win awards, but the ones I am interested need to be honors bestowed on me because of my novels. Still learning how to blog and how to administrate this page. I have the bare minimum from wordpress. I do want to add that “no.awards” message to my page. As well as links to my favorite blogs. Don’t know if that can be done at this level. Thanks so much for your kindness.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think both can be done with a free WP account.
Re of blogs you follow…on your WP menu go to >appearance >widgets…scroll down until you find a widget for blog roll and add. You can add it to your sidebar and add links there.
Re award free blog…go on your internet browser, do a search for “award free blog” pics, copy one of your choice into the pics on your computer, then upload it to your media library on WP. Scroll down in widgets until you find one for image, and add it to your sidebar. Then open the image widget, and add URL to it. (The one in your image library.
I know I didn’t explain it well, but if you search help on WP, it will guide you through anything you wish to do. I’ve used it many times.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much. I really appreciate it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Okay…It’s your call 🙂 Your welcome:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks again
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 seems you make everybody smile Mr. Popularity
LikeLiked by 2 people
Me blushing. Thanks
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on ' Ace Friends News ' and commented:
Excellent post thanks for visit and regards Ian PS Not lonely anymore you now have friends on here 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks for sharing. I am flattered. Plenty of friends. Thanks so much, really appreciate it
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yup poem is funny but yeah curious to know who is she
LikeLiked by 2 people
Babe is in my imagination. Happy to entertain you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oooooo nice, BTW how do u know m babe
LikeLiked by 1 person
lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
M so bad at poetry and imagination is drastic
LikeLiked by 1 person
lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Smiles. Thanks
LikeLiked by 1 person
wow!!! Brutal and poetically humorous.
I’m so curious as to who is she? Maybe a metaphor?
Once again my new friend. Love the poem. and the structure and formatting of it. 🙂
I’m glad you found me and we are following each others work. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yeah,we will continue to follow each other. It is a pleasure. The imaginary babe came from my wicked imagination.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice. I like that.
Funny, how our imagination can trick people into believing these interesting worlds of ours. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, that can be so much fun.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like my blue heeler.
LikeLiked by 2 people
lol
LikeLike
Yikes!
LikeLiked by 2 people
A sick attempt at comedy. Hoping to start the week with a smile. Thanks for stopping by.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hysterical! Awesome poem.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Just wanted to start the week making everyone smile. Glad you enjoyed it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was feeling so sorry for you, until I read the last line.
But how I love that picture, typing all your “monkey-shine”.
Keep up the good work!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
LOL Thanks so much. And thanks for stopping by to read my poem. (or attempt at poetry).
LikeLike
Just had the same conversation
The cable bill
Maybe not the same reaction
But the cable will start an argument every time
Sheldon
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh, the cable bill can be painful. Thanks for stopping by Sheldon. -Andrew
LikeLike
Glad to hear it was all in fun, and not directed at your significant other…and that you are whole and uninjured. You gave me a laugh. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
That was all I was hoping for. Getting published is a difficult journey, I plan enjoying every moment along the way. But my prose was an example of poetic comedy at its very worst.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your worst is pretty damned good. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
hahaha thanks
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha! The cable bill was probably the part that hurt the most. Now wait for real sadism when she whips out the phone bill…
LikeLiked by 1 person
It sure did. LOL That cell phone bill kills me.Thanks for stopping by.
LikeLike
You got more than a smile from me; you got outright laughter. What a joy to read! And I commiserate with you about the mysterious “she” (pssst… muses can be mean bitches some days, but you didn’t hear that from me!)… 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am very lucky to have a user friendly nag-less muse. (But I forewarn you, I had to marry mine.) Yeah, it was all in fun. Start another week with a laugh.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is indeed wonderful news; I love to hear happy couple stories! You will no doubt need her encouragement to accomplish your goals. You certainly have the talent, and with a live-in, loving muse, you are bound to succeed…
My muse turned out to be the jealous type; she only tolerates friends, animals and roommates… oh wait… that might be me. *sheepish grin*
Moving along now… ‘Nothing to see here, peeps.” Lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL. I am one lucky chimp. Best of luck to you. Thanks for stopping by. And thanks for the compliments.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Really love the poem especially the monkey picture!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I looked happy, didn’t I?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha.. You did!
LikeLiked by 1 person
ouuuchh!! this also reminds me that it has been quite some while that I wrote poetry…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Same here. We better get to it. Thanks for stopping by.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Om my God. Thank you so much. This monkey is so embarrassed. I don’t know what to say. I just started blogging very recently, I don’t think I deserve this my friend. Thanks so much.
LikeLike
Some people will go to any lengths to avoid working on the next novel 🙂
And you don’t look terribly sad in that deck chair. I can think of worse places…
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL This blog is helping me to stay writing and in a writing frame of mind.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Here I can hear only silence
LikeLiked by 1 person
OK
LikeLike
remarkable pic.i geuss dt hurting is d some way of loving n attracting.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah
LikeLike
Love this…and the pic
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks lol
LikeLike
Write more poetry! Such lovely violence… I can tell she is completely psycho over you. Haha!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
OMG lol. You are so funny. My spouse is actually the least violent person I have ever met. Thanks so much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, give her time, love 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh. something to look forward too. lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
poor guy…did he like it? I blurted out laughter at “showed me my cable bill”
LikeLiked by 1 person
you are too much. the cable bill was excruciating.
LikeLiked by 1 person
haha…I am expensive, that’s for sure 🙂 ….yes, I can only imagine after having fun-up a few in my day, when I had cable…now I have satellite and that’s way different:D
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very smart.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bahahah! Did they end up with a restraining order at the end? 😀 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
lol Just crazy ol’ me being silly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ohh… so locked up?? hehehehe
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am one of those writers who talks to himself. Reviewing dialogue and scenes of course. But those guys in the white jackets keep a close eye on me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Make sure, you say hello next time, we pass that drinking fountain 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL! Thank you for following my blog! Blessings and peace.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My pleasure. Take care.
LikeLike
You as well.😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
As I look into your blog, I am amazed with your ideas. It’s a truly awesome blog…definitely worth following.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Funny you should say that. At one point I considered naming my blog Catching Bananas. Seriously, thank you for saying that. I wanted to start a blog as a rest stop for writers to laugh and relax. And of course to talk about my favorite subject – writing. I will be stopping by The Wanderlust Keeper to read some more. Thanks for the compliments.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh!Is she so dynamic and masterly … ? Surely,I got my laugh and you got my admiration 🙂
LikeLike
Oh thank you. Life and writing can be so challenging, We need to smile while we embark on this journey.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Ancien Hippie.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much. Spreading my craziness?
LikeLike
Hilarious! You would cheer right up if you saw my cable bill!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ooooh. You are too funny. Cable bills can be painful. Thanks for reading.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I just tweeted your great web site. Hope it brings you many new followers.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, thanks. I really appreciate it. You gesture has nearly brought me to tears. I am naive regarding twitter. Is this something I should do? Has it helped you?
LikeLike
Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
IS POETRY SAFER? 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol. Thank you so much John. I was going to post it myself. It is the first poem I ever wrote.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And certainly a sign of your developing skills!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol. Thanks
LikeLike
Ha! And you had me thinking you were ready for a divorce!
dwight
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL Thanks for reading my silliness. Drew
LikeLiked by 1 person