Tag: Top Ten

Lonely Author: More Top Ten Marriage Courses For Men (If You Want A Happy Marriage)

Published on by thelonelyauthorblog146 Comments

Staying with the love theme, Lonely Author wants to share a little of his Cupidities.

Due to the overwhelming enrollment for the Fall Marriage classes, there have been some new courses added to the Spring semester. Ladies here is your chance to mold your future or current groom to your liking.

In case you missed it, here is the link to the original courses:

https://thelonelyauthorblog.wordpress.com/2015/10/30/top-twelve-courses-for-married-men-if-you-want-a-happy-marriage/

More Top Ten Spring Courses For Men
If you Want A Happy Marriage

 

Garbage
It Doesn’t Throw Itself Out
Slideshow and discussion

Monogamy
Yes, it can be done.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions, Full Lobotomies, & Male Chastity Belts offered.

The Stove/Oven
What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration

Toe Nail Clippings
Where they go and where they don’t
Open Forum

Overcoming Your Fears
Baby’s Diaper: They Don’t Change Themselves
Step by Step Slide Presentation

Futurama
The modern technology behind the Washer & Dryer
Live Demonstrations

Your Other Mother
After your wife, your next mother. Mother-In-Laws are people too
Role Play

Sweat socks
No, it’s not male lingerie
Open discussion

Health Watch                                                        Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes

Miracles Do Happen
True Confessions of Maturity
Hotlines and Support Groups

 

Have a wonderful week.

Keep smiling.

Keep writing.

monkey-bride

 

Top Ten Lonely Author Musings

Published on by thelonelyauthorblog128 Comments

 

Ah-ha.

You thought Lonely Author incapable of profound thoughts, didn’t you. Well, when these thoughts provoke my brain, I usually tilt my head and let them spill right back out.

Here you go Top Ten Musings from the Musingsmeister himself:

 

10. Why is it when you’re driving two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do?

9. People who live in glass houses must use a lot of Windex.

8. Do late payers in Prague say the Czech is in the mail?

7. Who determined slice bread was the best thing?

6. The early bird catches the worm is only important if you having cravings for worms.

5. When everything is going wrong for him, what law does Murphy blame?

4. Should anyone be surprised when a cannibal bites the hand that feeds him?

3. Does abscess make the Dentist grow fonder?

2. Wouldn’t it make more sense to read eulogies in a dead language (Latin) at all funerals?

1.The fool who runs before a car gets tired, the wise man who runs behind a car gets exhausted.

 

Have a wonderful week.

Keep smiling.

Keep writing.

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Top Twelve Courses For Married Men (If You Want A Happy Marriage)

Published on by thelonelyauthorblog111 Comments

Top Twelve Courses For Married Men (If You want A Happy Marriage)

12 – How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy – Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and
       Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

11- How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion                                                                                                                     Relaxation Exercises, Meditation, and Breathing Techniques.

10 – How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays
Step by Step Slide Presentations.

  9 – The Toilet Paper Roll – Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.

  8 – Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat 
Group Practice.

  7 – Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

   6 – After Dinner Dishes – Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video

   5 – Loss of Identity – Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other 
Hot Line and Support Groups.

    4 – Learning How to Find Things – Starting With Looking In The Right
         Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum

     3 – Real Men Ask For Directions                                                                                                                                       Real Life Testimonials

      2 – Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.

       1- Learning to Live – Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.

Have a wonderful weekend. Be safe and keep writing.

monkey-bride

Top Ten Disadvantages To Marrying a Writer

Published on by thelonelyauthorblog55 Comments

Top Ten Disadvantages to Marrying A Writer

10- He encourages you to find your voice even when you don’t have laryngitis

   9- You will be expected to critique the first draft of the Dear John letter he is writing for you.

   8- Writer’s block prevents her from completing the grocery list.

   7- During disagreements your spouse will always take the omniscient point of view.

   6- He provides vivid descriptions of what he did in the bathroom.

   5- The only time he will throw out the garbage if you refer to it as the slush pile.

   4- During the middle of an argument your spouse stops to search for a thesaurus in order to avoid word repetition.

   3- You go to a sex counselor and realize your spouse’s definition of climax is different from yours.

   2- Your spouse will inform you the threatening tone in an IRS letter is an example of foreshadowing.

   1- He reads your private diary at his weekly writing workshop.

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Top Ten Reasons

Published on by thelonelyauthorblog40 Comments

Top Ten Reasons You Know You Are A Writer

10 – You overhear a conversation about a plot at the cemetery and your mind automatically thinks horror story.
9 – Your stories at the dinner table are always character driven.
8 – The question “What have you published?” can be as annoying as your third grade teacher running her fingernails across the chalkboard.
7 – You complain because the conversations at a dinner party sound nothing like dialogue.
6 – You assume exhibitionists are great writers since they prefer to show instead of tell.
5 – The last time you received this many rejections was at your senior prom.
4 – Every time you watch a good movie or finish a great book your first words are, “I wish I wrote that.”
3 – You miss your bus stop because you were too busy writing an imaginary description of the eccentric lady sitting across from you.
2 – You ask the waiter at your favorite restaurant why there is no page numbering on their menu.
1 – Naming a secondary character in your manuscript provides a greater challenge than naming your unborn child.